


Doll (Muñeco)

by billaconda



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Kaulitzcest - Freeform, M/M, One of My Favorites, Slash, Translation, slash fic, twc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 06:32:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5324066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billaconda/pseuds/billaconda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom has been living an excessive and questionable life. His father decides to send him away to live with his mother and the twin brother he never knew, Bill. Tom only wants to have a good time and play around with someone...what if that someone is his own twin? What if it turns out to be more than a game?</p><p> </p><p>(This is a translation of the original work!!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Muñeco](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/143039) by Sarae. 



> Spanish version- http://archiveofourown.org/works/5331272

September 28th, half-past one in the morning, Stuttgart. My way back home after an excessive night at Black was kind of horrible. I was halfway drunk and halfway hungover after two hours in the most smelly and ancient bathroom that I could find in around 20 km. I had no condoms left and the dizziness suddenly went away after the hard beating I had to give Black himself to make him forget the fact that I fucked his girlfriend. It was not my fault that his girlfriend was a bitch, selling herself for 20 euros and surely it was not my fault that I could have it from here for free.   
  
I was thinking about falling in my bed and sleeping until 3 pm when I discovered an incredibly inconvenient issue: my dad changed the locket on the door, and my keys were completely useless. I hit the door with my fist a few times, stopping when I heard my fathers' voice on the other side   
  
"It's for your good, Tom."  
  
I was about to kick the door down, shouting at him to open it, and that I was going to beat him, to kill him as soon as I was inside. He still didn't open. If it weren't for the iron bars of my window, I could climb to my room and throw the old man out myself, but it was impossible to go through the bars. And it was impossible to force the lock since the bolt was in place.   
  
I kicked the door one last time and moved to my car, that I loved more than any other human around me. No one worked harder than me to get it, not even my old man in his entire life. Sure, I got a lot of money from bets. If I beat him, you give me 20, 50 if I save you, your car won't burn, that will cost you 100, I won't kill you if you give me 200.   
  
Street rules. My rules.  
  
My street, my rules. My city, my system. My dolls, my play.  
  
My clothes, my guitar, my hats, my belonging, everything was in the trunk. My father kicked me out like an unwanted dog.   
I know what I want, mess around.   
  
My father updated my car's GPS with maps and details of Hamburg and its surroundings. He also left a note on the steering wheel, surely saying how sorry he was and begging me to understand. I don't know; I never read it. I tore it apart and threw the small fragments of paper against the front door, spitting on it.   
  
Then Guetti moved closer to me, with the cut tail between his legs, howling pitifully.   
  
"Hope you leave her with Andreas, you damned son of a bitch!" I screamed at my dad inside, walking to the car and getting inside in the worst mood possible. I lit a cigarette and brought it to my lips while starting the car.   
  
It was crazy to get to this extreme for my social integrity, for my excessive behavior and my questionable activities in life. Who cared if I was on the street with a bad attitude and the desire to go to the head of everyone in my way? Who cared how much I drunk or smoked, or if I was going back to drugs? Who cared how much sex I had in a day? Who cared if I was not using condoms? Who cared if I was beating the weaker or getting into street fights if I was stealing cars or breaking something if I was doing graffiti or burning things? I was a criminal, a troublemaker, no one could deny it, so what? Who cared? My father? As long as he could be a victim, he surely didn't care. My mother? That woman who never came to visit in 4 years? The one who was trying to avoid me? Why did she suddenly care about me, enough to take care of an outsider like me? Why my parents, after not speaking for years, they decided to get back in contact just to decide what to do with me?   
  
I couldn't see the end of that. So there I was, driving to Hamburg at 130 km/h to never come back, going for a chance, driving to know my mother and that twin brother I couldn't remember.   
  
I knew my mother was a lawyer, wealthy and probably a freak for rules and laws, posh, used to live in luxury, dressed in black, with glasses and a Rottermeier complex. I was a criminal. I spent more time at the police station than at home, marked in my 19 years by my criminal records, and I was certainly not prone to change myself into a posh and disgusting child. Exactly like the twin I still didn't know.   
  
It was easy. I am as I am, and they were quickly going to kick me out of there too. I wasn't hoping for anything else. Honestly, I had no desire to fit into that world, or, as I was sure, into any other. Honestly, I didn't give a fuck about fitting in.   
  
I liked the way I was. I loved to play God. I wanted to pick up fights, to feel the blood of others on my hands, feel the pain, see it, touch it, to feel the real pleasure of sex, rough and fast. I was not interested in being accepted there, not at all.   
  
I wanted to find a toy to play with for the time it took me to put up with living there. A doll, a pretty doll to play with, to experiment with, to take risks with, to enjoy the sex as much as possible and everything involved.   
  
A doll to hurt… to break.   
  
I didn't care who it was or what it was for me. I wasn't picky, any beautiful creature, with fair skin and porcelain body and easy to play with would do. Anyone, the closer, the better… anyone.   
  
It was all about playing with a perfect doll I could see around me, I couldn't care less who it was.   
  
How could I think that my twin brother could be the perfect doll?  
  
But what did I care if he was?   
  
A doll close and perfect that was already there waiting for me.   
  
Who would have guessed? Maybe a girl, but no.  
  
The perfect toy, my twin brother Bill.  
  
My Doll.   
  
Poor Doll…


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill doesn't usually do one night stands.  
> Simone went to bring Tom home so the twins can finally meet again.  
> Is it really the first time they see each other?

“Oh,” I moved the straw from my lips after drinking my vodka again, startled and shrinking at the sudden shiver running down my spine when he laid his hand on my shoulder.

“Are you alone?” we looked at each other, and he sat next to me without asking for my permission. Suddenly I was very nervous.

“Oh, well…”I swallowed quickly. The person who just came closer to me had a deep voice, very different from mine. I couldn’t say why that surprised me so much that a cold sweat ran over my body while I turned to see who he was. His clothes were way too large, I’d say at least six sizes bigger. And dreadlocks. I’ve never really liked dreadlocks, to me it looked like a careless and dirty way to keep your hair, but on him it looked good no matter what. His lower lip was pierced, his eyes light and clear, and a hat. I’d never met anyone like him, I didn’t know what to think of him. I felt a small shiver when he thoroughly stared at me, assessing me only with his eyes, from head to toe, until he finally looked me in the eyes. He held his breath and smiled. It was a mischievous and seductive grin, and that paralyzed me.

We were in the kind of bar where people were pawing at your ass every two steps, and there was such a crowd around you that it was impossible to tell who was doing it. For that reason, when he sat next to me, I got nervous.

I tried to find a familiar face, Gustav or Georg, but I couldn’t see them anywhere and I could feel fear coiling in my stomach.

“What are you doing here alone?” the guy next to me asked again. He was about my age, that helped me relax a little.

“No… No, I’m not alone. I’m here with… A few friends that…” I tried to find them again, but I was out of luck. “… Are not here. I have to find them” He was laughing.

“Are you in a hurry? Let me buy you something…”

“No, thank you.”

“Please? If you move around here, you’ll probably have everyone’s fingertips on your ass” I was thinking about it. I really didn’t want to go back to people feeling me up while everyone else was having fun at my expense. I sat back again.

“Okay,” I finished my vodka, feeling a little uncomfortable. He was staring at me out of the corner of his eyes, and as soon as I finished my drink, another one was already in front of me. I was feeling nervous again.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You know, from afar I thought you were a woman.”

“Really?”

“No offense.”

“None to take,” I lied “ If you thought I was a woman then you shouldn’t be here…”

“I wanna be here. Woman or man, you captured my attention. Even if I leave now, I think that no matter how much I try, I won’t be able to take my eyes off of you.”

I lowered my head, and I felt my cheeks reddening.

“That…I don’t…”

“You have a girlfriend?”

“Until last winter… Yes,” I think I didn’t answer that, or maybe if I did, I must have said yes.

“Interesting,” he was quiet for a while.

“And a boyfriend?” I coughed surprised by his question when my drink went down the wrong pipe, taking my breath away. He started to hit me gently on the shoulders, trying to contain his laugh, and I shuddered when I felt his warm hand on my naked arm. I felt the sparks caused by that small touch flying, and he moved his hand as if the contact with my skin shocked him. He lifted an eyebrow, staring at me surprised and interested.

We connected.

“What’s your name?”

“Bill,” I answered him. I still didn’t step back.

“Bill… I have a brother named Bill.”

“Really? I have a brother too, but I haven’t seen him since I was four years old, and he’s coming tomorrow morning from Stuttgart.”

He opened his mouth surprised like he was about to say something, but he didn’t, he merely smiled.

“From Stuttgart?”

“Yes, why?”

“Oh…” he turned his head a little and for a moment he was silent.

“Nothing.” I drank a sip of my vodka a little more cheerful but still nervous.

“And you haven’t seen him since you were four years old?”

“No. My parents are divorced, and my father took my brother, I stayed with my mother. It’s… Like in that story in which they separated two twins and they knew nothing about the other…”

“You’re twins?”

“Yes… Or that’s what they told me. I can’t remember much. I just remember that we looked identical when we were four, and we used to play with the sand at the park building castles.”

“And you didn’t hear anything about him since then?”

“Exactly.”

“And why suddenly after….?”

“15 years.”

“You’re 19?”

“Yes,” I smiled “My birthday was a few weeks ago.”

“What a coincidence, mine too,” he murmured with amusement. “And why is he coming now from Stuttgart? To… See you?” I rolled his eyes and moved the empty glass from me, turning in my seat to be in front of him.

“It's a long story.”

“I have all night,” he smiled. Not only we obviously connected, but I also liked him.

“He got in trouble. My mother told me he insulted a teacher, he hit him, my brother defended himself, and that was it. But then he got into a fight and when he was expelled from university, he set fire to the professor’s car, pissed off by the expulsion. He spent the night at the police station, and his charges were serious because it wasn’t the first time they caught him doing something like that. They were going to send him to jail but my mother is a lawyer, and she had contacts. She paid the bail for him and agreed with my father about sending my brother here as soon as possible, hoping he could find some sense.”

“I see…” he drank his glass in one sip, without taking his eyes from me “Your brother is bad.”

“Yes… And I’m scared of that.”

“Why?” that sneaky smile never left his face

“Well… Picture this. My mother is out almost all day long, that’s enough time to gag me, tie me up, beat me and abuse me. I’m telling you, you’ll see my dead body on the news!”

I laughed with him, and I felt the tension melting away. I’ve never told anybody about my brother, and in five minutes with him I was able to lift that weight from me.

“It must be hard, right? ”

“Yes. That’s why my friends dragged me here today. They wanted me to find someone and….” I blushed. He caught my eyes and licked his lips, touching his piercing with the tip of his tongue. I flexed my legs under the table and for a moment I wanted to put my hand between my thighs, trying to avoid the inevitable.

I’ve never felt anything like that, and I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never been interested in guys, and I was even less interested in one night stands. That kind of thing was against my moral, but he was looking at me in a way that made me want to forget everything about morals. Should I let him?

“My friends too brought me here as a… Farewell party” I swallowed at those words.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m moving to Hamburg, and I won’t see them much.”

“Here? You’re moving here?”

“Yes… Close,” he laughed, but I couldn’t see what was so funny about that, “maybe this is not the only time I'll see you.”

“Maybe…”

“Would you like to see me again?” I felt his eyes fixed on me, waiting for an answer. I had to lower my head in embarrassment. My straight dark hair was like a black curtain, hiding my red cheeks from his curious eyes and he gently moved the locks behind my ears. I felt electricity sparkling again, but this time it didn’t startle me, I felt tingles that made me shiver with pleasure through my whole body.

“I have to go…” I felt his breath against my ear, and I shuddered again. “Do you want to come with me?”

He laid his hand on my thigh, close to my groin and he squeezed gently. I almost jumped from my seat with my heart pumping my blood in one single place. I probably didn’t have any left in my brain, not enough to realize that it wasn’t a good idea.

I liked him and in a way and I wanted to try something else, but only with him. Not this night, or any other night I accepted offers from other people. He was special, our small connection was special, even though I couldn’t say if it was a good thing or not.

I let my instinct guide me.

He squeezed my hand tight, and I let him guide me through the crowd of people inside the bar. I kept my head lowered, incapable of looking up. My face was red, and I felt like my head could explode, like my heart. I felt like I was floating on a black cloud, my brain kept shouting that it wasn’t a good idea, but I wanted it, I just wanted it.

Since I was going to live my next months and possibly years in hell with that lost cause that was my brother glued to me, at least I’d keep the memory of this night in mind. I was sure that I was about to live a night I’ll never forget. The same instinct that convinced me to leave with him was now saying that I’ll forever keep in my heart and mind what was about to happen.

Just as we were opening the door, I saw Gustav on my right. He was with a girl, a glass in his hand and he was looking at me with his eyes wide and mouth half opened in surprise. I avoided his gaze and quickly walked away.

He left my hand when we made it outside.

“Nervous? It seems like you’re freezing,” He smiled that sexy grin of his and I felt goosebumps rising all over my body, now ringing with excitement. Now that we were outside, under the lamppost, his face looked like pure attraction. It was almost like it reminded me of something, but I couldn’t remember what. I felt like I’ve been knowing him my whole life.

“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly as if he was almost expecting something to happen now that I could see him under the lights.

“Yes, it’s nothing... Is just that…” we begin to walk toward a dark street. My nerves were back, making me anxious when I fully realized I didn’t know anything about him. And I let him take me out like it was no big deal. “A friend of mine saw me.”

“And that’s bad?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Hope he doesn’t think I’m gonna do dirty things to you,” he said smiling. I laughed nervously.

“That’s my car” my eyes fell on a big dark Cadillac, almost hidden in the darkness of the street, parked alone. I swallowed again.

“The Cadillac?”

“Yes,” he looked very proud of his car. And he had every right to be. I didn’t like cars, they never got my attention, but that one was great. I tried to peek inside, but the windows were tinted.

“It's really big.”

“It's not the only big thing I have” When I realized what was going on, his arms were already around me, pinning me between his body and the car. I let my hands fall on the hood surprised. My lips were trembling, and I could feel an icy cold wind against my legs. His lips were grazing mine.

“It’s… The first time you’re doing this?” I asked stuttering. He sighed and laughed.

“Depends. In the car, yes. With a guy, yes, again.” Suddenly, I was feeling very shy. I was trembling all over, and the thought of the simple contact that his lips were going to have with mine made me feel intimidated, I wanted to move back. My knees hit the dashboard, and I fell forward. My back was against the hood of the car, and I was laying half on him. I heard his muffled laugh against my ear, and he turned his face a little, enough to lower his forehead against mine.

“Don't be nervous. I’d never break such a pretty doll.”

Doll…

At that time of the night, in winter, on a dark street, the temperature could easily get below zero, and I was seriously starting to feel the cold.  
The warmness spreading from my crotch and extending to my body though was enough to make me forget about that.

His piercing was grazing my lips every time he shifted, trying to capture my lips and succeeding in that task. He found my lips and immediately deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue inside my mouth. He was moving over my lips, playing with my tongue and grazing my tongue piercing a few times. He was smiling when we parted, and I could see a small thread of saliva connecting our lips.

“Piercing,” he licked his lips. It was so fucking sexy watching him doing it. I could feel my cock pressing against my pants. I was so hard it almost hurt.

One of his hands started to sneak under my shirt. It was cold, and he moved fast, eager to reach my skin, as cold as ice, sending little shivers of pleasure through my body. I threw my head back, my mouth halfway opened to let short pants out, and I could see a small fog created by my breath. He found my nipple with his cold fingers, and gently rubbed it.

“Ah!” I was trembling when he closed his lips around it, swirling his tongue over my nipple. I let my hands move on his shoulders, clawing at it with my nails when he bit down on it “aahh no!"

“No? He pinched my other nipple harshly. I was torn between the pain and pleasure closing my throat. I wanted to let go and moan, but before I could do that he put his hand over my mouth, letting his body cover mine completely. I shivered again at the contact with the cold hood against my naked baclìk.

“Don't make too much noise. We’re on the street.” I was about to have sex in a public place with a stranger, and all I could do was blush and close my mouth. Someone must have hit me, it was the only reason why I was going crazy. I had no other explanation for what I was doing. I couldn’t understand how could I let someone do this to me, someone I just met. His eyes, his smile and his moves had me hypnotized.

“You can touch me if you want, I won’t bite,” he made fun of my stillness, so I dared to reach his head with my hands. His dreadlocks tangled around my fingers, his touch was not hard but not too gentle. I took his hat off carefully and joined our lips. I closed my eyes and our lips opened, our tongues sneaking inside the other’s mouth, sharing our breaths and sighs.

His cold hands rested on my back, caressing it with the tips of his finger, raising goosebumps all over me and moving until he met the waistline of my pants. He captured my lower lip between his teeth and he started to lick it and to leave wet kisses on it. I could feel my groin tightening every time his hands dared to move under my pants, grabbing my ass roughly.

He parted from me to take the big hoodie off, feeling all too hot.

Underneath that he was wearing a large shirt. He moved over me again to bite my chin, and his tongue started to move from my neck to my ear, sensually licking the lobe. I felt the hard muscles of his abs rubbing against me, and I was incredibly aroused by that contact with my crotch.

“Oh fuck!” I couldn’t hold back my scream. He parted from me suddenly, and he stared at me seriously, like I’ve never seen him doing before as if he suddenly realized something. I feared he was going to move aside.

“What… What’s going on?” I whispered, and I noticed the movement of his Adam’s apple when he swallowed.

“Nothing,” he was smiling again.

He started to lower my pants with such a haste that made my heart beat faster. Our eyes met, and I was suddenly feeling so ashamed. I was trembling when I was left almost entirely exposed to the cold air, totally exposed to him. I was incredibly turned on, and my cock was hard and stiff for him to see. I closed my eyes, and he laughed.

“You’re so hard,” he whispered. He moved back, and I managed to curl up a little. I was freezing, trying to put my shirt back on shivering. I stared at how he started to lower his large pants, enough for me to see his cock as hard as mine. I swallowed nervously.

“You’ve never done this before?”

“Wh-What?” I stuttered. My teeth were rattling “No…”

“You're shaking,” he murmured. He rested his forehead on mine. I could feel his hot breath against my cold lips, and he started to give me small little kisses.

“Damn, you’re freezing!” I turned his head at that moment, and his body was covering me again, making me feel his warmth. His hands were busy caressing my side so roughly that I wasn’t feeling the cold anymore.

“I’m sorry. I’m a real idiot,” I heard him whispering in my ear, and he raised me gently. My legs doubled when I met the ground, almost making me fall if it wasn’t for him holding me up.

“No, no…” I moved as much as the cold allowed me when he took me into his arms and brought me to the door of his car. “Let me go…” he opened the door and put me inside, on the backseat.

“Wait here,” he said before closing the door. Where was he going naked, except for his boots? I snuggled up there, flexing my legs and touching them, trying to feel warm again. How in the world did I end up in such an awkward situation? At least in this chunk of a car it was hot.

He came back from the driver’s door, and he started the car, turning on the heating system. He was gone again, but after a few seconds the door on my side opened. He got inside, and I moved away, leaving him space. He was holding the clothes he took from me earlier and his hoodie, which he put over me, covering me up.

“Better?” He asked. I nodded my head.

“I was afraid you were turning blue,” He smiled. At least my teeth were not rattling anymore.

“You want me to take you home?”

“Already?”

“It's 5 in the morning. You have other plans or… you want to go on?” he stared at me with that dirty smile that made me blush again. “You can get dressed here if you want, I won’t look.” I covered up more with his hoodie, trying to hide the fact that I was still turned on, no matter the cold. It smelled like him.

“You don’t want to go home?”

“It's not that.”

“Then what?”

“Nothing…” I wanted to spend more time with him. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“You don’t wanna go home?” he raised an eyebrow.

“It's not that. I told you I was going to move here, but I don’t have a place until tomorrow, so I thought about sleeping in the car tonight.”

“Oh…” I curled up even more in his hoodie until I realized that if I was going to stay there, he couldn’t sleep.

“If you want me to go so you can get some rest…”

“No!“ his smile was so charming, “If you wanna stay… I don’t wanna sleep alone today, it’s so dark outside,” he made a funny face that made me laugh “and outside it’s cold, here it’s cozy.”

 

“Right,” His smile disappeared, and he turned serious again. He started to torture his piercing nervously.

“If you want…” he moved a little toward me “Your lips are still blue…”

“They're still cold, I need the warmth. I’m still cold…” his hand caressed my chin softly, moving our lips closer again.

“I still want to play with my doll.”

I couldn’t understand what he meant with , but it didn’t sound too bad.

Our lips crashed together, our tongues even more eager than before to touch the other again. His hoodie ended up plastered against my naked body when he laid over me on the seats. My hands removed the fabric from his forehead and pulled the hair tie that kept his dreadlocks in place, never parting his lips from mine.

He pulled back from me, grasping the arms that circled his neck, separating them. I let my hands fall over my head obediently, watching as he rid himself of the shirt, leaving it with my stuff. His dreadlocks fell over his back and chest. The need to feel those muscles hit me hard.

“You fool people wearing clothes so large,” he laughed, quickly lowering his pants again.

He was naked above me. Never in my life I felt like I wanted to touch someone so bad, and I’ve never wanted anyone to touch me so bad.

“I want… I,” he moved over me, trying to keep a small distance between our bodies. He was panting too, and his body was glistening with sweat caused by the heating and the arousal.

“What do you want? I’ll do everything you ask.” I had to close my eyes.

“Touch me.”

His hands were now warm, calloused and a little rough, but I liked his touch, he was turning me on so much. He caressed my neck and arms, my back and my chest fondly, his eyes never leaving mine. He laid on top of me, circling my waist and rubbing it with his thumbs. Our cocks were deliciously rubbing with each movement, and we were moaning loudly.

“Kiss me.”

Suddenly it was almost too hot. We were both covered in sweat. My fingers were busy exploring his back, almost scratching him. His hands never left my ass, squeezing it gently. Our lips were still moving over each other, our tongues playing incessantly. My hands abandoned his back and caressed his shoulders, moving toward his chest.

“Someone’s horny I see…” he joked parting from my lips to kiss my jawline and neck. I laughed too, feeling the hard lines of his defined muscles with my fingers. He bit my neck and lowered himself completely over me. I moaned loudly, and I heard him doing the same when my hand finally gripped something harder than his abs.

“If you touch me like that… I’m gonna burst.”

“It's not a bad idea.”

“But then the game stops, doll” My hands were back on his neck, our foreheads resting against each other, our lip red and swollen from all the kissing.

“Do it in me” His mouth was half opened, taking in much needed air and he grinned.

“Come here,” His hands stopped on my hips, pulling me up enough to make me put my forearms on the seats, raising my shoulders a little, and he grabbed my ass.

“Doll…”

The heat was rising, and I felt my heart beating faster.

“Fuck me,” I surrendered myself to him. To a stranger. That sounded so weird, so impossible for me, something I’d never do but…He was not a stranger, he was more…

All I knew was that he was making me feel so much pleasure, I wanted to spend the night with him and enjoy it.

“Ahhh!” he pushed inside me a little too fast, and I screamed. It wasn’t that good, feeling something so big and hard inside you moving harshly. I was in pain, a few tears escaping my eyes. He was squeezing me against his body, and I arched my back to let my head fall back on the seats. It was more painful every time he moved. I clenched my teeth, trying to hold back from shouting, hoping for him to finish as fast as possible when he stopped.

I opened my wet eyes and noticed how slowly he was lowering me on the seats again, without pulling out.

“Why… Did you stop?” his hand was on my cock, massaging it slowly. I was trembling.

“Touch yourself,” he whispered, and my hand sneaked down my body. That gentle touch was enough to raise goosebumps over me. His eyes fixed on me, trying to capture my every movement, were arousing me more and more. Our hands met when they both closed over my hard on. I could feel my cock hardening even more.

He started to move over me again, laying on top of me. His breath was coming out in short pants mingling with mine, our lips grazing together as we shared the same breath, sharing the same body.

The pain went away as soon as our hands started to move on my cock, squeezing it in time with his deep thrust. I was shivering with pleasure with every single touch, every kiss, every stroke, every thrust.

His hard body was brushing against my crotch, rubbing the tip of my cock.

“I can’t… Hold back…” loud moans were escaping my throat. His voice was deep and low against my ear.

“Oh God,” I heard him say, and I closed my eyes. My mind was blank, all I could do was circling his hips with my legs, pushing his cock harder inside me. I was clutching his back with my free hand, gripping his dreadlocks between my fingers.

We were moving faster and rougher, lost in our pleasured haze, and we couldn’t hold back much longer.

Soon I felt my hand wet with my cum, I arched my back and let my mouth fall open soundlessly. I felt like I was drowning in pleasure, my mind empty and my heart beating furiously. I felt him releasing inside me, filling me with his cum. He thrust inside me one more time, and I screamed as hard as my throat allowed me while pulling on his dreadlocks. I heard him panting against my ear, and he was still rubbing my cock with his hand. The touch on me oversensitive skin was too much, I moved back a little, and we collapsed against each other.

Our short pants were the only audible sound in the silence that fell between us while we tried to catch our breath. I was sweaty, and his body was still against mine. I was also wet, but I couldn’t care less.

I felt my eyes close, bundled up in that warm cocoon and feeling safe with his arms around me. I thought he fell asleep with his head on my chest since he was so quiet. His hand moved a few locks of hair plastered to my face, and his lips kissed my throat.

“Doll…”

“Mh…”

“You want to sleep with me what’s left of the night?

“Mhh..” he laughed.

“I’ll take you home,” he moved back from me, and I opened my eyes wide. I loudly complained grumbling and lifting my arms, waiting for him to come back to me, “your brother will come today.”

“You want to kick me out.”

“I want to sleep.”

I immediately sat up.

“I’m sorry,” I started to collect my stuff, and I felt a small pressure on my chest. “I’m sorry I…” I began to realize what a stupid mistake I did, and I felt ashamed. “…It means nothing,” Nothing but a one night stand. Just a one night stand.

I put on my boxers and pants quickly, feeling as if I was in a hurry to escape and run from there. I wanted to cry.

“You know what?” he was getting dressed too, more slowly, keeping it cool, watching me with that bad boy smile that made me shiver. “I’d like to spend more time with you, even if it doesn’t look like that. I enjoyed it a lot.” I lowered my head, putting on my shirt again. I was feeling so embarrassed. He held a strand of my hair and brought it to his lips. The heart, sometimes…

“There were many nights, but this, this was the most special,” He let my hair slip free, moving them from my face and tucking it behind my ear before leaving. He sat in the driver seat and looked at me from the mirror.

“You're not coming? I’ll bring you home, you have to give me the directions.”

 

……..

 

“Bill!! May I know where the hell you are? We tried to call you all night!”

I had to move the phone from my ear since Georg’s screams were killing my ear. I made a face at the echo of his voice coming from the phone, sighing and rolling my eyes, patiently waiting for him to finish his lecture without uttering a word.

“Georg, shut up…”

“We were so worried man! Gustav said that you left, he was freaking out! Where the hell are you?”

“I… I’m on my way home,” I looked out from the opened window. The air helped me clear my mind. I needed that.

“Your house? We’re still out! Why you didn’t wait for us, why you didn’t tell us anything?”

“Because you were too busy looking for someone to spend the night with, and you left me alone! That’s why!”

“Bill…” he sighed. “I’m sorry man, where are you? We’ll come to get you.”

“It's fine. I’m… Going by car. Someone’s taking me home,” I looked at him from the corner of my eyes, he seemed focused on the road, but I knew he was listening. I don’t know why, but I knew.

“Someone’s taking you home?! Who?”

“Well…”

“Gustav wants to talk with you,” I swallowed nervously

“I don’t wanna talk, I’m tired.”

“But…”

“I don’t care. I’m okay, don’t worry. Tomorrow I’ll call you to make sure you don’t freak out too much.”

“Okay. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m great.”

“And who’s taking you home? It’s someone we know, right?” I rolled my eyes

“Of course.”

“Okay, good night then… And ring me when you get home or I won’t sleep’”

“Yes mum, I love you too,” I hung up.

“Your friends?”

“Yes,” since he started to drive an uncomfortable silence fell into the car. I couldn’t sit still and quiet at the same time, I just couldn’t, it was beyond me. “They’re good, a little stupid and crazy, but good.”

“And yet they left you alone at a party.”

“Yes… no… well, actually… They’re not bad.”

“If they were real friends, they would have stopped this.”

“This?”

“They would have stopped me from catching you.”

“That’s not… Bad. It’s nothing I should worry about…” his lips curved up into a smile, “right?” I asked, a little shy. His smile widened.

“Of course not! I’m a decent guy, going to the function every Sunday and who’s always staying away from trouble. Always!” I felt the irony in those words.

“It’s on the left,” he turned and after a few meters I spotted my house.  
“Here.”

I couldn’t believe we arrived so soon. I bit my tongue. Maybe it was better if I kept my mouth shut. Gustav was going to give me hell tomorrow, and Georg was going to lecture me and beat some sense into me and my brother… My brother…

“My brother…” I stared at the front door, it seemed like it was an abandoned house, dark and gloomy.

“Are you really scared of your brother?” he laughed at me, and I pinched his arm, pretending to be angry.

“Of course I’m not! I’m just nervous, that’s all.”

I opened the door and slowly left his car. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to… I wanted another night, but he didn’t stop me.

“Thanks for… Bringing me back.”

“My pleasure, doll.”

I smiled, what else was I supposed to do?

“Well, maybe… I’ll see you around.”

“Doll…” he gestured me with his finger, and I moved forward before closing the door. He suddenly grabbed my chin and kissed my lips. He put something in my jacket’s pocket, and he let me go, shoving me out of his car. “If your brother causes problems to you, call me. I’ll kill him,” he laughed wickedly and closed the door.

Before I could answer, he was gone.

I tried to sneak into the house without any noise, careful not to wake my mother up. It was 8 in the morning, and there was already light outside. I moved to the kitchen to get some water when I noticed that everything was exactly as I left it. The dirty dishes were still in the sink, everything looked the same. Mom didn’t come back, she was spending the night with Gordon. Awesome. More work for me.

But first, sleep. I needed it.

I was still wearing his hoodie when I went to the bathroom with the intention of having a quick shower, but I changed my mind. His scent was all over me, I was feeling him so close.

Thinking about him, I got into my bed, clutching his huge hoodie to my chest. I could call him with the excuse of giving it back to him so we could meet again.

I fell asleep.

I didn’t even ask his name.

 

…….

 

“Bill! Where are you? I’ve been trying to reach you for the whole day!” I had to move my phone from ear to not hear him shouting… Again.

“Good morning, Georg, that’s where you usually start.”

“I told you to ring me when you get back, what was so difficult about it?”

“I’m sorry, I fell asleep.”

“To hell! I wanna see you in five minutes!”

“Or maybe no. Why do you wanna meet so soon?”

“Why? Why? Details, Bill, I want every detail. You had sex, didn’t you?”

“I…”

“Didn’t you?”

“Mh…”

“Gustav told me that… no, idiot!!” I heard a few hits and shouts. I decided to hold my phone on my neck and shoulder while I was washing the dishes.

“Ah!” the dinner leftovers stuck to my nail, and I shook my hand in disgust, splashing water on my face. I ruined my nail polish, and a small drop of soap managed to enter my eye, stinging. I was suddenly remembering why I never washed the dishes and preferred doing something else like cooking or cleaning.

“Bill, it’s me.” The phone fell to the floor while I was rubbing my eye with my arm, trying to make the sting go away. All I managed to do was get mascara all over my arm, ruining my makeup.

“Shit!” I had to get to my knees to retrieve my phone from under the table.

“Bill? Are you there?” I heard Gustav on the other side of the line. I gripped my phone and raised it to my ear. While I was trying to stand up, I hit my head on the table.

“Oh fuck!”

“Bill, are you okay?”

“Yes, yes!”

“What happened man?”

“Nothing,” I was rubbing my head with my hand still smelling like that horrible soap I was using. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

“I can’t come, seems like Georg didn’t understand that, tell him!”

“Why you can’t come?”

“My brother… My mother went to take him home and…”

“Okay, I understand, but we have to talk about…Yesterday, I…” I sighed. “I saw you, Bill.”

“Oh….”

“And you saw me too, don’t try to fool me…”

“What did you say to Georg?

“What was I supposed to say? Because I have no idea of what happened. You were there, a guy was holding your hand and suddenly… Bill? What happened tonight? You know him? What did you do?”

“Gustav… I’ll tell you another time, okay? Now my brother is coming, and I’m very stressed and… We’ll talk…”

“Are you alright?” I was sure my voice was giving me away. I had a sore throat, and I was so cold. Maybe I had a fever too. It wouldn’t be too weird considering what I did in winter, on the streets.

“Yes, we’ll talk soon.”

“Wait, Bill!” I hung up. I wasn’t in the mood for talking. I wasn’t in the mood for anything actually.

What was wrong with me? I woke up thinking about him, spent the whole morning thinking about him, and I couldn’t shake the thoughts from my head, nor did I know what was going to happen with my brother.

I stared at my phone and bit my lip. I added the phone number he put in my pocket, and I named it “Him”. It was vague and unclear, but I didn’t know his name… nor if I was headed in the right direction.

I coughed a few times. I zipped my jacket all the way up. It was so cold, and I hurt all over. I sneezed. Yes, I was sick.

I put my hand on the floor to stand up from under the table, and I found it soaked. I left the water running in the sink, and I tried to run to close it, but I hit my head against the corner of the table again, falling and ending up soaked too. Now I had to clean the floor again, and I had to take another shower.

I was tempted to go back to my room, snuggle under the covers, grab his hoodie from under the pillow and curl up around it. I stared at my phone again.

I wanted to call him. I’d feel better after hearing his voice, and knowing his name… But I didn’t dare. Maybe a little later.  
I heard the keys in the lock.

“Great!”

“Bill, darling, we’re here!” My mother excited voice made me blush. She kept calling me darling, dear or honey, even in front of my friends and now with my brother too.

I hoped she was going to treat him like that too, at least I wasn’t going to be the only one here.

I sighed nervously and felt a little dizzy I started to move toward the door when I clumsily stepped into the puddle of water and slipped, falling backward and hitting my head again.  
“Fuck!”

“Oh dear!” When I started to realize what was going on, my mother was in front of me, crouching down and I had to add shoulder pain to the mix, “Dear, are you alright?”

“Yes...”

“Oh thank god!” she hit me on the arm lightly while I was trying to stand up, causing me to lose my balance. I had to grip the table not to fall again. “You know you have to watch your language!“

“Mom, I fell, it was a reflex.”

“Bill, don’t talk back to me! Tom…” her voice was kind again when she turned to look past the threshold, “… I’m sorry, but I hate that kind of language in my house, so if you’re used to doing that, forget it here, clear?”

“Clear.”

I was paralyzed. Completely frozen, dead. My heartbeat was distant, a distressed feeling swallowed me whole. A small whistle in my ears isolated me from the reality of what was in front of me.

“Darling…” my mom smiled at me, his face lit. She moved her arms around my shoulders gently “it’s been a long time since you two saw each other… this is your brother, Tom.”

I stopped breathing as soon as our eyes met. Those eyes that the night before looked at me filled with desire. Those lips that moved all over my skin, that smile wide, hiding the truth.

Tom… my twin brother.

“It's been a very long time… Bill,” he addressed me with a dark voice. His lips spelled a word that I was the only one able to capture.

Doll.

“Bill, dear, you don’t look so well… You’re so pale… Bill? Bill?” Suddenly everything was black. “Bill, darling!!”

Black, black, everything black.

My twin brother? Him? And me? A doll? His doll?

Oh my God, what did I do last night?

I was left with that question unanswered.

Black, everything was black.

His smile…

Did I seriously turn into my twin brother’s doll?

I guess I’ll have to live from now on with that question in my mind.


	3. Chapter 2

I felt dizzy even in my sleep. I was unconscious, but the headache was killing me, and I was shivering with cold. I was in pain everywhere, especially in my throat, scratchy, like when I cried for a long time. Was I crying? I couldn’t remember that.

“He has a high fever, maybe I should bring him to the hospital…” I heard my mom’s worried and soft voice in the distance as if it was coming from another reality. 

“It’s just a fever, nothing will happen to him. It must be the flu or something like that, don’t worry. I’ll take care of him.” I couldn’t say who that voice belonged to, was it Gordon?

“I don’t know if I should go… What if he gets worse?” 

“I can take him to the hospital myself, but I don’t think it will be necessary.”

“Hmm…”

“You don’t trust me?” That imposing voice turned almost pitiful. 

“Oh, of course, I trust you dear! I’m just worried… Are you sure you can watch over him alone?”

“Yes!” 

“Alright then, I leave him to you. If he gets worse, call me. The number is next to the phone, with the other emergency numbers. Bill is so forgetful that when he was younger he was always taking notes on his arms.” 

“A little bothered?” 

“No, perhaps it’s just that I’m overprotective. Well, I have to go to work dear. Call me if something happens.” 

“Bye… Mom,” Mom? In the exact moment I heard the door slam close, I opened my eyes. It was not Gordon. Then who…?

“Ah!” I suddenly sat up on the bed, removing the excessive amount of blankets on top of me. The wet cloth on my forehead fell to the floor, and everything started to spin around me, until I collapsed back on the bed, dizzy and with a horrible headache. My nose was stuffed, that seriously sucked. 

I had to get out of there, find my mom and… no, no, maybe Georg was better. He could beat him. Yes, I had to call Georg and…

The door opened while I was reaching for my phone. He stopped in the doorway, staring at me with a raised eyebrow. 

“You’re up already?”

“No, I’m sleepwalking. Fuck off, don’t get close to me!” I tried to scream with a high pitched and scratchy voice, wielding my phone like it was a weapon. 

He started to laugh at my face. 

“What the hell are you doing? Come on, leave your phone, it’s not like I’ll break it!” He closed the door behind his back, smiling. My first reaction was to take the pillow and throw it at his head. “Careful, don’t think I’m stupid!” I took my biology notebook from the table and threw it at him too. He caught it mid-air and let it fall to the floor carelessly. My notes were messed up. I took the keyboard and tried to throw that at him too. “What are you doing?” He dodged it, carefully bringing it to the screen, and that restrained him enough for me to push the table in his direction. I took advantage of that, hoping I at least broke a rib or two, to open the window and try to jump into the garden. It was really high, I could break a leg… or both. 

I speed dialed Georg’s number, thinking if it better to jump or not, when I say him moving toward me with a deadly expression in his eyes. 

Dying or being left at the expense of my evil twin brother who, for the record, already took my ass virginity? Dying didn’t sound so bad. 

“You stupid bastard!” He grabbed me when I was already falling free like a bird, ready to crash into the ground. 

“No! No!” I tried to kick him, to get free, but his arms were keeping me in place, and he brought me back inside. 

“Damned son of a bitch!” I tried to kick him again, and I pulled his dreadlocks.

“Help!”

“Shut up!”

“No! Don’t rape me! No! I don’t want…”

“Don’t piss me off or I swear…!”

“Help me!”

“You’re dead.” 

“Ahhh!” His body hit mine heavily. My poor shoulders hit the floor hard, leaving me confused and immobilized in my dazed state, crushed by his body. He pressed a hand to my mouth. His furious eyes had me paralyzed with fear. 

“You’re… Dead.” That threatening tone was new to me, actually, everything he represented was new to me. I only knew that he was my twin brother, the one I haven’t seen since I was four, the one that yesterday… Slept with me. If only I knew that before if only I had at least a picture, I would never have let that happen but… His hand was roaming over my neck, and his face looked like he wanted to squeeze it and crush it, take my breath away and choke me. For the first time in my life, I felt real fear. 

He squinted and stopped. His face relaxed. I realized I was crying, shuddering with fear and cold. With his hand on my mouth and my stuffed nose, I couldn’t breath. Something must have convinced me to take pity on me, and he released me. I began to cough violently, trying to swallow much needed air. He was still on top of me, a detached expression on his face, very close. 

The night before the contact of our skin made me shiver with pleasure, now I was scared because I was still attracted to him, knowing perfectly well who he was. Oh God, was I that crazy? He had to move, he had to back away from me please, go away…

He moved back as if he heard my thoughts. He stood up without looking at me, and he put the table back in place. I was kneeling on the floor, watching him without uttering a single word, coughing while he fixed the mess I made. 

“You have to be a little more careful with what you do or say,” I heard him whisper. “I’m easily irritated, and I lose my patience very quickly.” I was about to get mad. Why didn't he say anything? Did he care about what happened last night or not? He slept with his twin brother! He couldn’t be okay with that! 

“Yesterday…” My throat was sore. I was feeling hot all over at the memory of what happened just a few hours ago. 

”Yesterday?” he raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?” I stared at him with my mouth hanging open. 

”Yesterday… At night… Me and you in that bar….?” 

”What are you talking about? It’s the firs time I see you since we were four.” 

”But...” I remained perfectly still. How could he say that we’ve never seen each other since we were separated? We spent the night together, we touched and kissed each other….we had sex. He was looking at me all serious, with his arms crossed on his chest with a certain cheekiness. The guy from yesterday night looked exactly like him, but his behavior was incredibly different. Was I wrong? He had the same voice, and the same clothes….no, I couldn’t be mistaken. Or maybe yes? A small hope lit my face when I grabbed my phone and found his number quickly, almost forgetting that my brother was in front of me. I called him and I was waiting with a stupid smile on my face, I was going crazy. My hands were sweaty. 

A phone began to ring close to me. It was not mine. My eyes started to move up and down Tom’s body, my brother’s body. I looked over every inch covered by his large clothes, looking for the source of the noise that attracted my attention, the stupid noise of that stupid rap music. He kept his phone in front of himself, to make sure I could see it perfectly well. 

On the bright screen, a word. 

Doll. 

My phone fell from my hands, and he smiled. He was laughing at me. 

”I was joking.” 

Yes, it was him. The same guy from the other night. My brother. “It was obvious, I didn’t think you would doubt seeing me face to face. You’re so silly, doll.” He caressed the edge of his phone with his lips before hanging up the call with a pleased expression. 

I felt my stomach flipping, and I knew I was losing my sense. 

”Are you gonna cry?”

”W… Why?” I could only stutter a few words. “Did you… Know that we… We're brothers?” He turned his head to my question, rolling his eyes. Maybe if he didn’t know, and he was as surprised as I was…maybe…

”Yes. I knew when you started to tell me that you were scared of your unknown brother, that you feared he could kill you, use you and rape you and…” He laughed again. “Isn’t it funny? In reality, it was not rape.” 

I stood up from the ground. “Are you totally crazy?” I raised a hand to hit him, but I felt dizzy again and I felt like I was falling. He caught me in his arms and put his cold hand on my forehead, moving the loose strands of hair. “No!! Don’t touch me!” He was furious, and he tossed me on the bed carelessly. 

”If you can scream like that, you can’t be that sick.” I saw him on all fours above me, with his hands on my shoulders. He squeezed with two fingers a spot between my neck and shoulder and I felt a strong pain paralyzing my muscles, starting from that place. 

”Aaah!” I could only scream, and I saw him smiling wickedly. I curled up on the bed, fighting the tears. 

”Stop, please, stop!”

”Stop being a drama queen” I kicked and screamed, trying to move his hands from my neck. 

”Stop it damn!”

The doorbell rang. We simultaneously looked at each other in silence for a few seconds, completely still. Was he going to move? What if he didn’t? What was he going to do with me? I was trying to picture that, fully conscious of how strong he could be. I was about to cry again when he decided to stand, hissing at the doorbell. 

”Now that things were starting to get interesting…” He walked to the door, and I stood up, annoyed and still in pain because of what he did earlier, and I followed him. When he realized my intentions, he shoved me again, causing me to fall to the ground before my bed. He left my room, and I immediately got up, running after him down the stairs. He already opened the door. 

”Is Bill here? Or I got the wrong door?” 

”Georg!?” Georg, my savior, my best friend came to the rescue! The tears I barely restrained before, now spilled from my eyes in pure relief. I jumped from the last step of the stairs, ready to leap into his arms like I was a stupid cartoon character. Considering my bad luck and the fever, I miscalculated and fell face first to the ground. 

”Ah, hopelessly clumsy as always I see, you’re a pain in the ass,” Georg said before lifting me as if I weighed nothing. 

“My head hurts,” I whined to him.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m sick! I have a fever, you know? And my nose is stuffy!”

“That’s disgusting.”

“So you have to be kind to me and treat me nicely!”

“Forgive me, your highness, you had your face on the floor. You want me to blow your nose?”

“Idiot!”

I laughed with him, or I tried at least. It sounded a lot like an animal grunting considering my sick voice. It was so easy to forget my problems when I was with him. “Gustav, what are you doing standing there?” That’s when I noticed him, still outside the door. My other best friend was perfectly still, paralyzed and pale. His eyes and Tom’s eyes met behind me. 

“Georg, maybe… we interrupted something?” He whispered, recovering from the shock. He stared at me, and I turned pale. He knew with whom I spent the previous night, he saw us. A shiver that raised the short hair on my arms ran through my body. 

“What? Interrupting what?” It seemed like Georg noticed Tom for the first time. He appeared troubled. “Who are you?” 

“Me? You’re my brother’s friends?” 

“Brother? Don’t tell me you’re his twin!” Tom smiled. Gustav’s eyes almost fell out of their sockets. 

“I’m Tom.” 

“Tom! But… You two don’t look alike at all! And here I was, thinking we were stuck with another Bill for the rest of our lives! It’s such a relief.”

Gustav didn’t know what to think, and I didn’t know what to say. Yesterday I slept with a man and today I realized it was my twin brother that… it’s totally crazy. The consequences were going to be horrible. 

“Well, come in Gustav!” I tried to sound normal, a little relaxed by the fact that they were next to me now. Tom wouldn’t attempt to get near me with them around, right?   
Gustav nodded and entered. 

“Sure. I think… We need to talk about something.” 

What was my brother going to do? We didn’t take our eyes off of each other since we entered the living room, paying attention to every look and gesture. I was really nervous. 

“You’re from Stuttgart?” Georg asked him, distracting him for a moment. 

“Yes.”

“They told me it’s home of the geeks.” 

“That’s what they say?”

“Yes, and that it’s always alive.”

“That’s true. You don’t have geeks though, not where I live. But I guess that considering where I live, you can only find scum.”

“Scum?”

“The gangs, criminals, thieves, alcoholics, drug addicts… people like that.” 

“You live there?” Tom shrugged his shoulders. 

“Among the filth. It’s not a big deal, and at least you don’t get bored on the streets.” I heard the conversation from the kitchen, surprised. I didn’t know anything about my brother, just that he lived with my father in Stuttgart, that he got into university with a scholarship, and that he was kicked out. I also knew that he had issues and, judging from the last hours, that he was out of his mind. I didn’t know more than that, and Georg shifted the conversation to another topic, his last answer made him uncomfortable.

“Bill? Did you faint on the way?”

“Considering that the beers are for you, I’d stop complaining!” I answered from the kitchen, taking three beers from the fridge. I didn’t think about bringing one to Tom too, but when I made it to the living room, he took it from my hands. “Hey, that’s mine!”

“You’re gonna drink alcohol while being sick? I don’t think so,” He drank from that right in front of me and Georg burst out laughing at my angry expression. 

“Oh, poor Bill! But you should be grateful that your brother worries about you. So now, if I leave you alone at home I can go back without thinking you’re gonna fall in the oven or something like that.” 

“Sure, sure.” 

“Oh come on baby brother, go, make some orange juice so you can take vitamins and get well soon” Georg laughed loudly again. Gustav’s eyes were moving between me and my brother, trying to find the perfect moment to be alone with me and asking what in the world was going on, so I decided to sit down. In that way, Tom couldn’t get close to me in front of Georg, and Gustav couldn’t ask anything. Georg was my salvation. If only I could tell him what happened without fearing he’d murder Tom… Gustav was way better with secrets. More discreet and always trying to help, at least I could rest assured no one was going to end up wounded. 

I sat next to Georg, trying to get as close as possible to him, grasping his arm. I felt sick again. 

“What’s up with the closeness Bill, my dear?” He tried to imitate my mother’s voice, laughing. I wasn’t in the mood to laugh, and laid my head on his shoulder, exhausted. 

“You don’t look well, are you okay?” Gustav touched my forehead with his hand, kneeling to my side. “You have a fever.”   
“I already know.”

“You should go to bed,” he advised. 

“I’ll come with you?” Everything was spinning. It shifted from joking between friends to almost familiar. I was used to that, to them looking at me like that, almost like my mother. 

“I don’t want to. I’m okay.” I was scared to go to bed, I feared waking up without them and that Tom could use my weakness to… I looked at him from the corner of my eyes. He was staring at us with a frown, silent and annoyed. 

“What kind of relationship do you have?” he asked suspiciously.

“Eh?” their attention shifted to him, and that bothered me. 

“Where I come from, if a guy lays his head on another’ shoulders, he could consider himself dead.”

“You come from a weird place, man. But I guess it’s normal,” Georg messed up my hair lovingly, keeping my head on his arm. “Bill is our dear spoiled brat, the adorable one, the stray kitten, our little mascot. We’ve been caring for him for so long that his mom used to call us to play babysitter when she had to go out to the grocery store.”

“Fuck you!” I blushed at that memory. I’ve always been overprotected, with my mother and with my friends too, as if I was a porcelain doll. 

“Bill is our friend,” Gustav said suddenly, his defending tone made Georg looked at him surprised. “No one, except for his mom and us has been, and will be, that close to him.” That sounded like a warning to my brother, so obvious that I swallowed nervously. Tom grazed the bottle with his lips, his piercing eyes on me again. I knew he was silently laughing. 

“I guess no.” We both knew that it was not true. In just a single night, he managed to get closer to me that everyone else I cared for. Inside me. That filled me with regrets. 

“Yesterday you were at the bar in the suburbs, right?” My eyes almost fell from my face when Gustav changed the topic like it was no big deal at all. My heart started to beat faster, and I looked at how Tom drank a few times from his beer, quiet and almost absent. 

“Yes, why?” 

“I’ve been wondering who took Bill home after the party since last time I saw him he was with you.”

“Yes, he left with me. What’s the matter with that?” My mouth fell open, staring at Tom crossing his legs and smiling, entertained, almost enjoying the questioning. He stared at me wickedly, I wasn’t sure to which extent he was willing to go to pester me. But that was…

“Nothing,” Gustav shrugged and stretched his arms. “I just thought it was weird…”

“What?” Tom interrupted, or maybe he did it just to play with me and make me even more nervous. 

“I was calling him anxiously, a few minutes after seeing you two leave together, but no one answered until like..3 hours later, on the way home. I was very scared in those hours...” He left the sentence hanging. The unasked question was obvious. What happened in those 3 hours that I was out? Then something hit me. I couldn’t hear my phone while Tom and I were working on warming each other up in his car, and when I finally took it, I noticed it was turned off, something I never do. Just in case. I kept it away in my jacket, the first thing he took off of me. Something that I couldn’t see anymore when he put me in his car, naked. 

Damn son of a bitch! He planned it from the beginning. 

“What the hell are you talking about Gustav?” Georg muttered. 

“During those three hours…” my face must have turned even paler when Tom smiled his usual grin. He was going to say it. Was he really going to say it? “If I remember correctly, during those hours me and Bill…” shut up, shut up, shut up, please shut up now, I silently begged him with my eyes, terrified. “It’s been a long time since we saw each other last time, we had a lot to talk about, and we were lucky enough to recognize each other immediately. To tell you the truth, it took him a while to recognize me, but for me a couple of sentences were enough to know that it was my little brother and… We got really excited about it. We decided to go somewhere quieter to know each other… Deeper.” He was still smiling. My face changed from a ghostly pale to a relieved one. I sighed, and Gustav relaxed a little, but I knew he was still not convinced that everything was fine. 

I was sweating buckets because of that stressing moment. I was overwhelmed, I needed water. 

“I’m going to… Get water,” I slowly stood up, feeling everyone’s eyes on the back of my head. I shivered, a small spark of electricity running down my spine. I looked at Tom over my shoulder. He was staring intently and when he noticed I was looking at him too, he teased me, licking his lips. I was hard in a moment, and I slammed the door close, leaning against that once I escaped his eyes. 

The cold disappeared, I began to feel hot and sweaty. My legs were shaking, and it was not because of the fever. I was going crazy, I was going absolutely insane! What is he going to do to me when we are alone again? No, please, no. I was trapped. I couldn’t tell anyone what happened because I started it, and now I turned into my twin’s doll. His doll…

I leaned against the door heavily, and I collapsed to the floor, covering with my hands. I started to cry. I had to calm down. If Georg or Gustav saw me like that, they’d worry and ask me to explain the reason for my tears. And I couldn’t tell the truth. I saw no escape from that. I was going to be my twin’s doll for the rest of my life… Tom’ sex toy. I couldn’t stop crying, and I was scared. I was really scared. 

“The truth it, we’re relieved to see you're finally here,” I heard Georg say in a calm and clear voice, almost sweet. My suffocated sobs made it hard for me to hear him. “Bill has been waiting for you for a long time, you know.”

“Me?” I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to contain the noise. That voice, the one that I’ve been hearing in my mind for the whole night, from the one who used me, the one that trapped me with that almost evil tone…

“Since I met Bill I think he said your name something like 8 million times. It was almost annoying how in every sentence, every topic, he could always end up talking about his twin brother. My brother, Tom lives in Stuttgart… Now he’s doing this… Maybe he likes this, maybe he likes that… I’m sure he has a lot of friends, I’m sure he’s amazing, he must be strong and funny… I’m sure we’re going to be always together when he finally arrives…”

“Every day, all day long. I don’t even know how I put up with that. He was so excited to finally meet you,” I stopped crying. With each one of his words, I wanted to hear more. 

“I remember that… Well, you see, Bill has always been really clumsy, with a big mouth, and often he got into trouble with bullies, more than once he made them angry. When we tried to defend him and help him, when they were making fun of him, he often said, “When my brother arrives, he’s going to beat you.” I heard Georg laughing again, the noise muffled from the door.

I remember that incident very well. 

“I guess that it was his biggest dream for Bill to know you.” Yes, it was. It has always been. The thought of my brother, who he was, what he looked like, what he did… I was always thinking about him when my mind was free, I automatically thought of him. When I was sad, I used to think about having him close and sharing the feeling, and that was enough to make me feel better. When I was happy, I liked to think he was happy too. 

When I blew over the candles on my birthday cake, I always made the same wish. I wanna meet Tom, I wanna meet my brother. My dream came true. 

“Bill was waiting for you. When he was in doubt about something, he tried to think about you, about what you’d tell him to do if you were here. He paid more attention to you, a shadow of what he remembered, that to us. For this reason…” I dried my tears. “Don‘t let him down. Don’t disappoint him. He was expecting some sort of fairy tale. He wanted you more than anything, without even knowing you. It would be horrible for him to see that… You are not what he thinks you are” Gustav’s words hit me somehow, made me think and convinced me to stand up. 

I wanted to know him since I was young, and now that he was right there in front of me, I was scared of him? Sure, he was not a regular brother, sure he used me, and sure he pestered me, we’ve been together, and he used the situation to his advantage, but…He was still my brother. Mine. Was there in him something of what I’ve been waiting for? Something nice, sweet, brotherly? That was something I had to discover myself. Truth to be told, I still wanted to know him. The fact that we’ve been together only made the desire to know him stronger. 

But I was not going to be his doll. 

“Bill, we’re leaving!”

“If you’re drowning in the sink don’t worry about coming!” Were they leaving already? I decided to confront Tom but not so soon! I ran to the door, where I struggled not to jump into Gustav's arm and beg him not to leave. Tom was waving them off laughing, already planning a day to meet again. Apparently he and Georg got along well, that was worrying me. 

“Are you sure… You don’t wanna stay a little longer?”

“I don’t wanna catch anything, Bill, we have classes tomorrow.”

“Sure, psychology,” I whispered. It was my first year, Georg was in his third and sometimes he helped me out and let me borrow his notes. Gustav was in his second I.T year, as a programmer or something like that. He was a sight to see with a computer. 

“And you, Tom? What are you studying?” Gustav asked him. He was silent for a while before coming up with an answer. 

“Media. I’m not as quick and smart as you, I’m just studying while I search for a job.” I was wondering if he was telling the truth. I guessed so, considering his smile at our stunned face, but he didn’t add more. 

“So we’ll see each other tomorrow there. Take care, Bill!” I swallowed nervously.

“I will.” 

“Take care of him for me, yes?” Tom smiled looking at me. My heart started to beat faster. 

“Don’t worry.” I saw them leaving, and Gustav looked at me over his shoulder. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, and he was right. I was about to drag myself after them and to ask them to stay, or to take me with them, but Tom suddenly closed the door before I could make up my mind. I instinctively stepped back, without taking my eyes from him. We were staring at each other in silence, trying to figure out what was going through the other’s head and judging from his evil smile, nothing good. 

“You heard that. They asked me to take care of you…” I watched him move closer, ready to jump me like an animal with his prey. I started to get really nervous, I was paralyzed while he came toward me. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. The desire to know him disappeared with fear, and my reaction was to turn and run to my room. As soon as I took the first step on the stair, he grabbed my hair and pulled me toward him until I fell against him. 

“Ah!” I screamed. He hurt me again, and I began to fear how much pain he’d cause me if I tried to resist again. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me against his body. I started to claw at his hand, trying to stop him from getting any lower. “Stay still!” 

“I’m not gonna let you escape again.”

“You can’t be that crazy, you must realize what you’re doing! Brothers! Do you understand this fucking word?!” He was pulling my hair while I was trying to reason with him and put some common sense in that broken mind of his, maybe it was not too late to lose… my brother. 

“You wanted to know me, right? They told me how much you wanted to know how I was. And for your information I don’t regret what happened, I don’t take back anything that I did!” he screamed at me.

“When they sent me here, when they told me about my brother, I just thought you were another inconvenience, you mean nothing to me. Then I saw you… and I realized I could use you for something.” My anger spiraled at those words, I tried to hit him as harshly as I could, temporarily forgetting about the fact that he was pulling my hair and consequently losing my balance. He released me, and I fell to the floor, but instead of running, I turned around and grabbed the neck of his shirt, restraining me from punching him. 

“I’ve been waiting for you for 15 fucking years! My dream was meeting you! Meeting my brother, my twin, and never part from him! I want my brother, I need him! What did you do to him?” I was furious. Tom was just smiling, apparently he found it funny that I was screaming. I couldn’t believe that someone so numb and cold existed, and before I realized it, I slapped him angrily.

He immediately reacted, he grabbed me by the neck, hit me and made me fell face to the floor, keeping his hand right over my head to make sure I couldn’t stand up. He was on my back, on top of me. 

“I hate you… I hate you, I hate you!” I tried to kick him to get free. 

“So what? Everybody hates me, stop saying it like it was an insult” that bothered him and I was still upset. 

“Everyone hates you? I’m not surprised!” He forced me to turn around, and I immediately felt a burning pain in my chin, where he hit me. Suddenly I realized how stupid I was to think that I could do something for him. He was stronger, easier to anger, more violent, and he didn’t want to see any reason. The worst thing was that he wanted me, and when I fully realized what it meant, it was too late. 

I didn’t mean to cry, I didn’t want to let him win, but I couldn’t contain myself, I broke apart sobbing, shivering with fear under him. He moved over me slowly, with his hands on my hips, and I put mine on his shoulders, shaking my head between frightened tears. “No…, please… don’t…” My voice sounded pathetic even to my ears, but to my surprise, his cold expression changed to an uncertain one. 

“Shit,” he whispered. “Who do you think I am? I’m not a rapist. I’m a bad person, a criminal, someone you can’t trust, but a rapist no, never. That’s horrible.” His words managed to make me feel a little better. I didn’t know why, but I was sure I could trust those words, even if he was still on top of me. I moved my arms from his shoulders and covered my eyes, still frightened and crying. My chin hurt.

“You… You hit me.”

“You make it sound like no one ever did something to you. I never expected you to cry so much just for that. If I knew, I wouldn’t have done it.”

“You harassed me all day…”

“You were very annoying, and I’m easily irritated, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“Oh please stop crying!” He asked tiredly. “I won’t hurt you.” He was still on top of me, and I was still scared and freaked out. “Come on, what do I have to do to make you stop crying? I’ll do everything you ask.”

I immediately moved my hand from my eyes, staring at him surprised. I remembered those words very well, they were the same words he used the night before to calm me down, while he was naked over me, and touching me, slow and gentle…and I loved that side of him. Could it be that not everything that happened was a lie?

“Why…?” he raised his eyebrow, and I carefully measured my words. “You knew we were brothers… Why did you do that? If I knew…”

“I didn’t stop to think about it,” He interrupted. “You were there. Since I entered that bar until I left, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I didn’t know who you were, actually at first I thought you were a woman.” I swallowed. He couldn’t even imagine how much it hurt me to hear him say that he thought I was a girl. It was humiliating and painful, and tears spilled from my eyes again. He sighed. 

“In my mind, realizing that you were a guy, should have been enough to stop me, but it didn’t. I knew I had to get close to you and check out why the hell you had to catch my attention so much, that’s why I came near you,” he said shrugging his shoulders. “That’s all.”

“No, it’s not all! Until then, you didn’t know who I was…”

“Yes, so? The fact that later I found out that you were my brother didn’t change the first fact.” I dried my tears again, my nose running. 

“What other fact?” My voice sounded horribly high pitched, it was pathetic. 

“The fact that you… Well, how can I say it to make someone like you understand without being rude?” He seemed to think hard about that. My head was spinning again, and on the floor I was feeling cold. My hands hid my eyes from him, I felt weak, and I had the feeling that if I looked at him, I’d turn red. I felt like drowning for how much I was panting and I wanted to disappear. 

Suddenly I felt something warm brushing my lips. I felt his breath on my mouth, slipping between my lips like a remedy against the cold in my body. I shivered and sighed. He gently covered my lips with his own, careful, almost as if I was scared to break me. My tears immediately stopped.

Our lips locked. I felt the tip of his tongue licking the corner of my lips, and I opened my mouth, fitting perfectly with his own. I removed my hands from my eyes and let them fall to the floor while he covered me with his body. I could feel him above me, his form, his hard muscles, and I wanted to touch him again like I did the other night. 

I felt very hot now. He started to move his lips, brushed over mine almost roughly, trying to capture them, sharing our breaths and playing with my tongue, trying to go deeper… I wanted nothing more than that kiss. 

My hands were moving on their own will, trying to take my shirt out of the way and discard it. I was too hot, and the contact with my skin made me shudder when his cold hands found my flat stomach. He was panting too, and he parted our lips, our tongues touching one last time. I noticed how a small thread of saliva managed to escape me, and I immediately closed my mouth, biting my lower lip and blushing, his eyes following my every movement. He began to lower his hand until he met my pants, sneaking under the waistband. 

My stomach flipped at his cold fingers caressing the base of my cock. I was shivering with pleasure under him. I raised my hands to clutch his dreadlocks, trying to find something to desperately hold on to while his rough fingers closed over my hard on pleasuring me. His movements were fast, and I could feel the fabric of my pants grazing the tip of my cock every time he pumped his wrist, creating a visible bulge. 

My mouth fell open. Small moans escaped my throat, and he seemed to enjoy the fact that he was causing them. 

“You’re moaning so loud…” I heard him say in a deep voice. I felt his other hand on my back, under my shirt, separating me from the floor and pulling me up enough to feel our breaths mingle over my lips. I could feel the heat radiating from his body when the distance between us disappeared. 

“Brother… Brother… It doesn’t look like you care about that when I touch you like this,” He squeezed my cock almost too roughly, making me feel pleasure tinted with pain. I let a small scream escaped me, and he smiled. 

“Don’t… Laugh…” I held his new hoodie with my hands. I hid between the blankets the one he gave me the previous night, his scent still on it. 

“I like to see your face while I do this.” I buried my head in his neck, his dreadlocks tickling my face, blushing at the idea of the expression I had on now. “That innocent face turns me on so much.” I swallowed nervously. 

“It’s not fair…”I tugged on his hoodie. I wanted him to take it off, to take everything off and rub myself over his naked body again, but he quickly took away the hand he was using to fondle and massage my hard cock. He pushed my hands away from him and pressed his body over my half naked one, leaving me flushed under him on the floor. 

“You wanted to know more about me, right? That’s what you were dreaming, doll. I’ll tell you something…” He rubbed against me roughly, causing me to tremble in his hold and see stars, I couldn’t restrain my pleasured moans, and I almost shouted when I felt his hard cock brushing against mine. 

“I hate not being in control. If I’m not in control, the game is not worth playing.” His tongue moved over my jawline until it reached my lips, licking them and leaving a small bite that made my heart beat faster. “Remember it for the next time, doll,” he said before abandoning me. He stood up and smirked down at me. I was shivering on the floor, his warmth gone. I moved to curl up a little, trying to escape his eyes, bringing my hands between my thighs and pressing on my groin. 

My pants were so tight it hurt. I needed my release…

“Don’t think about doing it in front of me, doll.” He kept staring at me, his arms crossed. 

“Stop calling me that!” I quickly stood up, blushing and feeling like an idiot. I lowered my shirt until not even an inch of my skin was visible, and I ran past him to the bathroom. He didn’t stop me, he just smiled wickedly. 

I locked myself in the bathroom and quickly took my clothes off, checking to make sure the door was closed. I started the shower, and I kept looking down at my hard crotch, ashamed of me. I couldn’t believe that he made me so hard with just a few touches. 

I kept checking the door during the two hours I was in the bath, and in my mind, I imagined opening the door, no one was home except for the two of us. I thought about leaving him the chance to join me, desperately wishing it was his hand on me, instead of my own, touching me like I was doing.


	4. Chapter 3

“Mom, you’re phone is here!” My mom was as forgetful and clumsy as me. She left everything around and later she couldn’t find anything. She lost the keys four times, and one of those times we had to stay over at Gustav’s because the locksmith couldn’t come until the next day. I couldn’t complain though, I was exactly the same. I lost my phone twice already. Well, technically once, but the second time I found it again in the washing machine after a deep wash and the poor thing didn’t survive the water.

“Oh thank you, my dear, I wouldn’t know what to do without you,” my mother said kissing me on the cheek before disappearing into the bathroom to finish her make up. I put everything on the table for breakfast, and I started to eat. 

“You’re leaving with Gordon right?” 

“How do you….”

“Mom, you’re all dressed up. You don’t go to court like that.”

“You know me so well, dear.”

“Well…”

“You like Gordon, darling?” I shrugged. I couldn’t say much, I wasn’t seeing him very often, but he seemed like a decent person.

“Yes, he’s perfectly fine!”

“I’m glad to hear that. You know I value your opinion, honey!” I sipped my orange juice slowly. “And what about Tom? You two get along?” I spit what little I drank, lowering the glass and coughing. My mother appeared in the doorway, wearing white gold earrings so bright that it looked like diamonds shining blindly under the sun. “Darling?”

“I’m okay…” I tried to breathe normally. “Me and Tom…we get along well so far.” It was the biggest lie I’ve ever said in my life. How was I supposed to get along well with that wannabe thug that had me trapped? Cornered like the mouse with the cat! My life changed in a night, and in the most humiliating way possible, he used me like a whore. 

If he paid me, I could say I was officially his whore. It was mortifying! And even more pathetic and weird was the fact that I let him play me again after I knew who he was and how evil he was with me. I knew he was using me, and I let him touch me and kiss me again. Again! I had horrible dark circles around my eyes, I couldn’t sleep at all. After the shower, I locked myself in my room, and I never left to have dinner or cook something. 

Tom knocked. I curled up in my bed, hugging the pillow and trying to disappear under the blankets twisted around me. 

“Doll?” I didn’t answer, and I shut my eyes. Shit, I needed a bolt for my door. “Are you there?” I bit my lip nervously. I didn’t want to answer, no way. “How was your shower? Did you cool down enough? If you’re too cold you know I could help you warming up.”

“Fuck off!” Tom laughed. I was grinding my teeth. Damn, I said I didn’t want to answer. 

“Fine, fine. I just wanted to tell you that your mother left money for pizza, and it’s here. You like it?”

“Leave me alone!” 

“You don’t like me? Even better, I ordered it with double cheese.” I growled between my teeth. “If you don’t want it, just say so. More for me. I honestly don’t care if you starve yourself.” I had to bite my tongue to keep quiet. “Come on, doll…” A tense silence settled for a few seconds. “Bill, it’s…” I puffed my cheeks. Even if he was calling my name, I still tried not to answer. “I hate that you ignore me, Bill.” 

“And why should I care?” I heard him sigh. I barely had the time to sit up quickly on my bed and move as far as possible from the door. Suddenly I saw the door opening, he was entering with a regular pizza box in his hands. It smelled so delicious that my mouth was almost watering. “You want some?” He opened the box in front of me, tempting me with it. I turned around avoiding him. “If mom realizes I left you without dinner she’ll get mad at me.”

“Mom?” I squinted my eyes at him. Was He calling mom my mother? Already? How could he do that? It wasn’t his mom…well, technically yes, but I refused to accept him as a brother and son of my mother. He had nothing to do with me, he was just a pain in the ass. 

“It’s my mother too.” 

I was about to spit in his face. He frowned and took a slice of pizza, moving it close to me again. I smelled so good…

“You want it or not?” I swallowed nervously. 

“No.”

“You sure? I didn’t poison it if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“I don’t want any.”

“Look, how can I say it? You better eat it, or I’ll shove it up your ass. Understand?” I stepped back. “And if you keep acting like this, I’ll put something else in your ass too.” He was threatening me again, but I didn’t want to give up. He already destroyed too much of my pride to let this pass too. 

I looked at the slice in front of me and after taking a deep breath I spit on it. I smiled triumphantly at the shocked face Tom made to me, but the worry immediately came back to me as soon as I noticed his furious look. 

“Anyone ever broke your nose? Because that’s what's about to happen.” He quickly grabbed my hair and pulled them painfully. I clenched my teeth and tried to move away from him. “I tried to be a good brother for you, I tried to care for you and be nice, and I even brought you dinner.” He carelessly threw the box on the floor. He pulled my hair harshly again. “Don’t piss me off!” He screamed at me. For a moment, I felt my legs shaking, and tears were already forming in my eyes. He released me and silently turned to leave the room.

I was furious with him and especially with myself. How could I put up with him if a few screams and pulls of my hair were enough to scare me? I’ve never thought I was so weak before meeting him. He had no rights to do that to me. It was my house, my mother was my family, my friends were mine only, he was here just temporarily, and he had no rights to consider himself superior. 

I dried my tears, took the pizza box and crossed the hallway to his room (mine, until I was four.) He was resting on the bed, his headphones on and his eyes closed. He didn’t notice I was there. I took a deep breath, collecting enough courage, and trying not to think about what he was going to do to me after. I walked to him, staring at him intently, and I opened the pizza box. It looked like he was sleeping, and he was…calm, with his eyes closed, not wearing his hat. He looked nice and relaxed. He seemed like the same person that the previous night made me feel so special. 

The two times we touched, he showed his nice face, almost gentle and sweet. Why couldn't he be like that all the time? Why only when we were kissing he showed a less violent character? It was useless to think about it and without turning back I poured the content of the box on top of him. Instinctively, I moved back as soon as I saw him standing up from his bed, removing his headphones and trying to clean up as best as he could. 

“Son of a bitch!”

“Shut up!” I screamed back at him, gathering my courage once again to make sure my voice was not shaky. “Now you’ll listen to me! This is my house, not yours. My mother is my family, not yours. My friends are not your friends too. You don’t have anything here in this city, nothing at all, you’re alone, and you have to stop being cocky and showing off. You have to stop trying to dominate someone that doesn’t belong to you and that you don’t deserve!” After that, I was paralyzed near his door. He was staring at me, not with hate or anger, he was just staring. He made a weird noise that sounded like a warning, and I run as fast as I could to my room, slamming the door closed. I sighed and leaned against it, waiting for him to come to me and beat me, hurt me or something but he didn’t. I kneeled by the door, constantly alert for any noise or sign that he was coming, but I couldn’t hear anything. 

I spent the night curled up by the door, waiting and thinking. I kept turning and shifting around for hours and hours, trying to find a comfortable position. Finally too exhausted to do anything else, I let myself fall into a troubled sleep for a couple of hours on the floor. 

I woke up at dawn, still on the cold floor, when I heard the sound of a car leaving our garage quietly. Usually I don’t wake up because of small sound, my mother was always leaving very early, and that didn’t set me off, but this was not her car. I was sure that the noise was too soft to be hers when the car pulled out. 

I got up. I had on top of me the hoodie that he gave me the night we met after we…did it. I wasn’t wearing it when I fell asleep, though. It was still cold. 

I looked at my bed. The pillows were scattered around, and I swallowed nervously. He did this? If it was him, he must have realized I slept with his hoodie close to me. Oh, what a shame! I ran to his room and opened the door quietly. He was not there. Now I was sure it was his car I heard moments ago and the first thing I thought was that he left. He's gone because I made him feel guilty with my words.

Great, even better for me. 

I was supposed to think like that, but I didn’t. I was worried, and I felt guilty and bad for what I told him. 

A few moments later my mother arrived, touching up a little before going to work, and I started to get dressed, fixing myself to go to university. 

“Tom went to the university so early, dear? I thought he was going with you?” I sighed.

“I don’t know, he didn’t say anything before leaving” I was nervously playing with my phone, checking to see if I had a missed call or something, but it was always silent. He didn’t call. At least he could do it to reassure us that he was fine and going back to Stuttgart. 

The doorbell rang. I quickly stood up from my seat and run to the door. 

“Ready to walk in hell, young one?” It was Georg. “Oh nice, I can already see that you’re not that happy to see me!” I sighed. 

“It’s not that Georgi,” I said. I knew he hated when I called him Georgi. 

“You’re risking your delicate head, Bill.” I could only pout. 

“Okay man, tell me what’s going on. I’m getting worried, are you still sick?”

“No.”

“You’re in pain?”

“No.”

“Oh, I know what’s going on! I told you to go easy on the hairspray, it can’t be healthy to sniff two bottles a day.”

“Fuck off.”

“I love your hair, Billy,” he said barely containing his smile. I rolled my eyes. 

“Is it that bad?”

“No, if what you want is to look like a porcupine.”

“Fine, let’s go before I change my mind.” 

The university was a little far from my house, and even further for Georg and Gustav. I was lucky enough to have friends with a driving license and cars, even a nice one, though not as nice as the big Cadillac Tom had…Shit, I was thinking about him again!

My friends came to give me a lift since my house was on the way, well, for Georg it was, but for Gustav it was on the other side of the city. He still came no matter what if Georg didn’t. They go through so many troubles for me…They were like two big brothers for me. 

“Bill, not to bother you, but you have a really ugly zombie face.”

“Leave me alone” I started to watch outside the window from the passenger seat side, lost in thoughts. 

“Your brother went to university already?”

“Again with Tom! Stop talking about Tom!”

“But I’ve never talked about him, it’s you that usually can’t shut up about him!”

“That’s a lie! I’ve never talked about Tom, I hate him!”

“Oh, now I see. You two don’t get along well.”

“Absolutely no!”

“Okay, it’s bad. You wanted to meet him so much!”

“Lies! I never wanted to see him, he’s dead to me!”

“Okay, fine, it’s impossible to talk to you when you’re like this. I’ll shut up and wait until you’re in a better mood before you kill me.” 

I crossed my arms annoyed. It’s… It’s just that Tom left like it was no big deal! I didn’t care, but he could at least have said goodbye or talked to mom. But no, he just left after ruining my existence, sleeping with me and treating me like a dirty doll. 

Hell, I was still his damned doll. 

Suddenly I felt my phone vibrating in my jeans’ pocket. My bad mood disappeared, and I grabbed the phone so anxiously that I almost dropped it, checking it with shaky hands. 

A new text. From Him.

Open, open. Now. 

**I’m sorry…**

I’m sorry? I’m sorry! What was that even supposed to mean!

**_Why?_ **

I pressed send. 

“Who’s that?” Georg asked.

“Nothing important.” I kept staring at the screen, unable to move my eyes from it. It seemed like time was standing still while I was waiting for his answer.

**I’m not upset, and you were right. It’s your life, not mine. I didn’t wanna hurt you.**

I knew I was right but…

**_I didn’t want to hurt you too. And I’m not upset anymore too after what I told you._ **

“You’re incredibly entertained by whatever this nothing is.”

“Georg, this it’s really important!”

“Oh come on Bill! We’re friends, can’t you tell me?”

“No!”

“Come on!” 

**But you were right. I’m nobody, I have no rights to enter your life and throw in your face that we spent the night together on Saturday.**

Yes. I was right, and he was not. Good. 

**_I know. It bothers me that you do it, I hate that._ **

“Georg stop spying!” He was trying to see what I was writing but at this rate we could have crashed. 

“You’re not talking with that Natalie bitch right?”

“No, I’m not…and she’s not a bitch just because we broke up. Things weren’t going so well between us.”

“Always the same excuse!”

**Do you hate me?**

That question left me puzzled for a moment. Did I hate him? Of course, I did! Then why was I texting him? Why was I worried that he may have left? That was a good question. To tell the truth…I didn’t want him to go. 

**_I don’t hate you. You’re scary when you’re angry._**  

“Natalie was weird, Bill, stop deceiving yourself.”

“I’m not talking to her Georg, stop it.”

**I don’t want you to fear me. I don’t want you to hate me.**

I sighed. I couldn’t help the smile that lifted my lips while I was writing. 

**_And I don’t want you to leave. Stay._ **

After no more than 20 seconds, I had a new text.

**Why do you want me to stay after everything?**

**_I don’t think you’re that bad, and I still want to know you._ **

**Do you want to analyze me, wannabe shrink?**

**_If you’ll allow me…_ **

**Only if you let me analyze you.**

**_You’re not a wannabe shrink._ **

**No. But I want you for me.**

His words left me feeling very nervous, and my hands started to shake violently. 

**_What do you mean?_ **

**What do you want it to mean?**

“Bill? Are you okay? You’re shaking like my grandmother.”

“Georg, I’m trying to concentrate, please…”

“Sure, sure, I’ll shut up.”

Another new message. He didn’t leave me enough time to answer. 

**I’ll be a good brother to you, from now on. I promise.**

I trusted those words, even if they were in a text, and we were not talking face to face. Maybe it was because I wanted nothing more in the world than to be able to trust him.

**_Thank you for this morning._ **

I was finally able to relax. 

**You’re welcome.**

I smiled. After all, Tom was not that bad. 

“Georg!” One of Georg’s hand closed over my phone, pulling it toward him, trying to take it. 

“Give it!” 

“You idiot, we’re gonna crash!” A truck’s horn made Georg drop my phone and with a sharp turn he avoided the huge truck that almost hit us. My body was hastily pulled to the left, and I banged my head on the window. Georg stopped the car in the middle of the road. When I pulled away from the window, I was shaking. Georg kept staring right in front of himself, his eyes wide open, clutching the steering wheel. 

We looked at each other. 

“G…Georg…”

“What?”

“I think…I think tomorrow I’ll take the bus.” He nodded his head and started the car again. I bent down to grab my phone, fallen at my feet, my hands still shaking badly. 

A new message. 

I pressed ‘open’ very slowly. 

**You’re really cold in the morning, you know? Your lips were icy, and like a good brother, I had to warm you up. I think I did it good, you didn’t realize when I started to warm up your chest. I thought about doing more, but since now I’m just a good brother…You don’t have to think me, you’re welcome, you’re very welcome doll. Kiss.**

I felt my body melting. I looked at Georg out of the corner of my eyes, carefully making sure he was not going to look at me at the wrong time. I noticed that now, after almost splitting our brains on the road, his eyes were fixed on the street. 

I raised my shirt a little. 

I turned red all over, caressing the small red dots that were scattered all over my chest. How come I didn’t wake up while he was doing this? While he was touching me with his lips, sucking my skin in his mouth, kissing me while I slept, kissing me and moving his tongue over my lips, biting my chest. I also had small bites around my nipples. 

I felt hot at the mere thought of what he did. 

The red spots stopped in a covered place over my hip, and I saw words, right above my star tattoo. The tattoo my mother didn’t know about even if I did it almost three years ago, with the neck and arms one, and it was better for her never to see them. 

I tried to read the message with the rear mirror. 

**Property of Tom Kaulitz.**

The name of the doll’s owner. 

I lowered my shirt embarrassed, I wanted to find a private place, lock myself in the bathroom, let my hand slip inside my pants and made the arousal go away.

I wanted him to touch me, him who dared to put something like that on my skin. 

Now I truly turned into his damned doll and…I wasn’t sure that I was upset about it.

 


	5. Chapter 4

  
**Having fun? I’m bored to death.**

**_I’m in the middle of this class. I can’t answer your texts every time you’re bored. Where are you?_ **

**At the university. I thought you were excited that I was sending you secret messages.**

**_Tom, you’re crazy. Stop ringing me and texting me._ **

**You’re making conversation, come on call me.**

I tried to concentrate on what the teacher was saying and on taking notes, but it was impossible to do so with my phone alerting me of a new message in my pockets every few seconds. The amount of work I had to do for that month was huge but to say the truth I didn’t care much because Tom was calling me. And I liked it. I felt a pleasant tingling warmth spreading from deep inside me at every new text. Even if I was trying to focus on this lesson and forget about it, I couldn’t help but think about what he told me, answering him and wishing for a more replies. 

I was going crazy. My obsession with Tom, now that I knew him, was quickly taking over, and I wasn’t sure if it was good or not because... What was the meaning of what I was doing? What were we both doing?

**_What do you want from me?_ **

I sent him the message without thinking too much about it, but as soon as I sent it, I regretted the move. 

“Class is done for today. Good luck with your philosophy exam,” Our professor said, startling me. Was the class already over? I didn’t even take notes! I sighed while standing up to collect my stuff. In my hand the phone rang, and I impatiently opened the new message.

**It’s you that I want.**

Oh, fuck! How could he say that? He was so… So charming. At this rate, I was going to be crazy about him, and that was really not good.

I still had to fully realize what was going on. With Natalie, it was different, with her… Everything was more romantic, peaceful, and we mutually decided to take things easy. This kind of relationship was madness! Looking at each other, getting horny… This type of relationship was…

Wait, what? Relationship? What kind of relationship we have? 

He’s my brother. My twin brother I didn’t know at all! Well, I had memories, but only of old things that didn’t matter, not anymore. I had to stop this! I had to find a nice and pretty girlfriend to make me forget this craziness. I gripped my bag right when my phone vibrated again, scaring me and almost making me drop it. 

“Hey!” I heard someone shouting, and I tensed, hearing a sharp noise behind me. I hit someone with my bag full of books and notes right on the face. I swallowed nervously when the whole world turned to look at me, and I slowly turned around, fixing my eyes on the floor. I think I turned pale. “Kaulitz, you broke my nose!”

I turned, took everything I had to take and almost run from the class. 

“Kaulitz, you’re gonna remember this one! When I catch you, I’m gonna beat you so hard….”

“That wouldn’t have happened if you were not putting your nose everywhere, moron!” I shouted back at him. I was not the kind of person to shut up after someone provokes me, and surely I’m not the one who doesn’t get angry. I ended up in troubles too often. Even if I was not used to crossing my arms and let everything slip, I was often the one losing… not to mention that I was scared of someone beating me up, so I tried to avoid it as much as possible but…

“After philosophy I’ll make you wish you were never born!” I ignored his screaming and kept moving forward, people still staring at me. Without stopping by Georg or Gustav’s classroom, I walked directly to the exam and refused to move.

Everyone was staring at me since the beginning. I was already nervous because of that fucking exam, the stupid fight only made me even more anxious and it that moment I wanted nothing more than to finish and go home and…and see Tom. I wanted to see him. I wanted him to touch me. 

I had the damn paper in front of me, and I knew all the answers. All of them! But I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I couldn’t take Tom from my mind. I hated it, it was crazy! Suddenly I felt my phone vibrating again. I decided to leave it and try to focus on the answers but…I couldn’t, not knowing that I had a new message from him! I threw a quick look around me, carefully checking if someone was looking in my direction, and I took my phone.

**Good luck with the exam, doll. If you pass, I’ll bring you a present. What would you like for tonight?**

What was he talking about? What was it about, a present? I swallowed. 

**_I’m already in class, stop texting me._ **

I sighed and tried to focus on the exam, more relaxed, until…

One new message. 

**Finish it quickly or I’ll come to get you.**

Kill him, or not?

**_I’m not gonna answer, save yourself the trouble._ **

Once again, I desperately tried to concentrate on the exam. I had answered half of the questions on the paper before I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I was not going to check. I was not going to…What if it’s important? No, Bill, don’t look….

Oh, fuck this. 

I looked at my phone again and checked the screen. 

“Kaulitz!” I stood perfectly still. I distinctively saw the whole class turning to look at me curiously, and I slowly turned my head with shaky legs. Behind me, my philosophy professor was looking at me, with her arms crossed and the shadow of a smile on his face. “So you’re cheating with your phone…”

“No! I was not cheating!” I stuttered in a silly way. 

“Give me your phone Kaulitz.”

I stared with my mouth open for a few seconds, sweating and feeling my heart beating faster before stopping altogether when she tried to take it from my hands. I stood up hiding the phone behind my back. 

“No…” I heard people whispering to each other. 

“No?” She asked, surprised and with a strict expression. I denied and felt like fainting. 

“I was not cheating.” 

“If you were not cheating, then what are you doing with your phone?” I turned my head trying to find a decent excuse, but my mind was a blank page. “Whatever. Give me the phone.” I stepped back when she raised her hand toward me and turned even more pale. I heard people snickering at me. “Give me the phone Bill!” She moved toward me again and tried to grab my phone, I resisted, and the whole class burst out laughing while she attempted to take it. 

Frightened by what was happening, I realized that I hit her, and I was shocked. “Oh my God!” She moved back horrified. I let go of my phone, scared and surprised by my behavior. I hit her! “I can’t believe it!" she whispered with my phone now in her hands, angry and disapproving, looking at the screen. 

**Don’t tell me you’re mad because of what happened this morning, or maybe because of last night? I thought you were happy about my dedication! What a shame, and to say that I wanted to have a good…**

My teacher stopped, her mouth hanging open. The laughing and the exaggerated cheering were destroying my ears. I turned red all over, and I was about to scream, please kill me now! 

“Kaulitz! Get out of my classroom now!”

“Kaulitz got laid last night!”

“Awesome”!

“I wanna get laid too Bill!” 

I tried to ignore every kind of comment, ashamed and still blushing, I grabbed my bag, and I moved as fast as possible to the door. 

I entered the room again just a few seconds after, embarrassed. 

The professor stared at me angrily. I didn’t say anything, I only moved past her and nervously I took my phone from her quickly. Once again, the others started to laugh loudly with tears in their eyes at the frown the teacher pulled. I walked to the door again, standing tall with my head high, feeling everyone’s eyes on me, and at the last second I couldn’t help it.

I turned and stuck my tongue out to her. 

“Kaulitz!” She screamed at me, but before she could add more, I closed the door. I could still hear people laughing in the hallway, and I almost…rejoiced inside? I didn’t know why I acted like that, but I enjoyed it even if from now on I’d be the joke of the university. 

I was slowly walking the corridors, bored, waiting for the bell to ring so I could go to the next class, keeping my mind busy from thoughts of Tom at least for a few seconds. I couldn’t even stop looking at my phone. I needed something to distract me, anything…

“Kaulitz,” I heard before turning around and finding myself face to face with Sparky, the guy I was fighting with before. He cracked his knuckles. “We left something unfinished.”

“Hi, Sparky!” I greeted him faking a huge smile. He lifted an eyebrow. 

“What did you just call me? Did you say Sparky?”

“It wasn’t Sparky?”

“It’s a dog’s name!”

“Well…I really can’t see much of a difference,” I whispered. He heard me. I saw two of his mates behind him, and I decided that it was the perfect moment to start running, so I didn’t turn back. 

“Fucking coward! Now you’re running away!” I surely wasn’t thinking about being chased when I said I needed something to work as a distraction. I run towards the stairs as fast as I could. I heard them running and screaming behind me. “Stop now you damn bastard!”

“Shit!” I tried to jump from the stairs, twisting my foot and almost falling to the floor, but I gripped the handrail just in time. I kept running despite the ache. I desperately opened the garden’s door, and I was out of there, kicking the trash can in an attempt of slowing them down. I kept running without looking, entering the university again. A few students and teachers stared at me, but no one tried to stop me while I was looking for the entrance to the other building. I was a little disoriented and out of place. I’ve never been in that part of the university, and I had in front of me two bright corridors, apparently looking the same. I threw a quick look behind me and saw that they were following me still, so I decided to take the right one. 

I was running like my whole life depended on that, and when I passed a corner, I crashed against something. I hit something hard, and I fell to the floor, hitting my head against the marble. I immediately felt a burning pain spreading from the back of my head. Everything turned dark. I felt like my head was splitting in two, shocked and dizzy, unable to stand up again. 

“Bill?” I tried to keep my eyes open, turning to the source of that sound. Tom had his hand pressed to his forehead, a pained expression on his face. “You hate me so much you’re trying to kill me?” He joked shaking his head. I collapsed on the ground, too faint to answer. “Bill, are you okay?” He crouched before me. “What’s up with the hair?” He joked again. I was too weak to laugh, and I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. Everything turned dark. 

“There you are!”

Tom’s voice disappeared, and all I could hear were soft noises far from me, I felt like my body was floating. Something soft gently caressed my face and neck. A hand carefully touched my head, as if it was looking for something between my hair. I felt something on my chest, right over my heart, and a warm breath ghosted over my cheek. 

Something brushed my lips gently, and I thought I was melting, struggling to remain in that nothingness between conscience and sleep. I wanted more touch, deeper contact because it was impossible, this whole situation was absolutely out of place and incredible, but I liked it. I wanted to wake up and…

I passed out when whatever was so gently touching me abandoned me.

 


	6. Chapter 5

I felt something cold on my face, unpleasantly dripping down my jaw line to my neck, causing me to shiver. My body twisted unconsciously, looking for some warmth. My hands clutched something soft and thick that I slowly identified as a piece of clothing. I held that and I laid my head on his chest. Rough hands gripped mine and pushed my body to that heat source. I felt arms around my hips, and my head rested against his shoulder. I could feel his scent on his hoodie.

“Tom...” I could barely whisper, my body still slack. I noticed how he was holding me by my waist, so I didn’t fall flat back on the floor again. 

"I'd say you jinxed yourself, but you've been lucky enough to have me as older brother" I still couldn't open my eyes, but this time I didn't even want to. I eagerly curled up in his arms, the strength slowly coming back to me. 

“What happened?” more or less I had an idea, but I wasn’t sure. At the most important moment, everything went dark. 

“You fell. You hit your head and lost consciousness. For a moment, I thought you killed yourself, but no….you have a hard head.” One of his hands moved to the side of my head, pressing on it gently. I immediately let go, moving back from him and laying my hand on the same spot he touched, gasping in pain. 

“Fuck, what’s this?” I opened my eyes slowly. I had a small bulge on top of my head. Even the smallest touch was too painful, and while I was trying to brush against it a few times to get used to it, I realized where I was. Cubicles, sinks, and tiles. I was in the bathroom. “What am I doing here?” I asked confused. Tom leaned on a sink, crossing his arms. “You brought me here?”

“I couldn’t leave you unconscious in the middle of the hall, right? And you scared me. You were not moving at all, I picked you up and…”

“You what? You picked me up in your arms?” I stuttered blushing. I couldn't even imagine the scene I caused, a guy nobody knew carrying me through university, but that didn’t seem to matter to him. He shrugged and smiled. 

“You look all skin and bones, but you’re heavy.”

“You’re crazy.”

“You say that a lot, doll.” 

“Why do you insist on calling me….” I fixed my half opened eyes on his face. Something was wrong. “What happened to your mouth?” Tom brought his hand to his lips, a confused expression on his face. “It’s swelling.” I moved closer to him, peeking at his face. I raised my fingers to his lip, gently touching them over the swelling. “It looks like someone punched you.” Tom smile widened. 

“They did.”

“What?” Oh…fuck. My mouth twitched at the news. 

“What’s up with that?”

“Sparky, right?”

“Who?” I rolled my eyes.

“The one who was chasing me. Sparky….and his mates,” I said in a contemptuous tone, even if I didn’t know them. I only knew they were his friends. 

“His name is Sparky?” He asked me, barely holding back his laugh. 

“No. I call him like that. His name is...” I tried to recall it, but I finally realized I never knew his name and shook my head. “I don’t know. But his sister has a cute little dog named Kiki. It’s a puppy this size…” I said gesturing with my hands. “He’s white and fluffy. Sometimes he runs around trying to catch his tail, but since he can’t, he gets upset and bites if I try to touch him.” Tom was watching me with his best poker face. 

“A puppy named Kiki?”

“Yes, he’s so adorable, but he has the bad habit of pooping on the front door.”

“And you think I care?” 

“You’re such a jerk!”

“No. I’m saying that someone punched me because I tried to protect you, and you tell me how cute Kiki the puppy is. I don’t understand where it comes from.” I rolled my eyes thinking. 

“Neither do I. It just came from somewhere.” Tom laughed, shaking his head a few times. I shrugged and started to gently touch his lower lip again. 

“Ah!” He complained trying to avoid the touch. 

“You got into a fight with Sparky for me?” Until that moment, I didn’t realize the true meaning of that. Sparky was strong. He hit me more than once, he hit Georg and Gustav too, once he messed up Georg pretty bad even if he was the strongest and the only one who could face him. That must have hurt. “You shouldn’t have interfered.” 

“You were lying on the floor, and they were going to get to you. What was I supposed to do? It’s not like it was a big deal.” I stared at him with my mouth open. 

“You’re trying to tell me that….you handled him?” Tom laughed as if he was mocking me. I was stunned. How could he laugh like that with a split lip after a fight? In the same situation, I ended up dragging myself away, sometimes crying. How could he smile?   
Suddenly, he was serious again.

“Why you didn’t answer my texts?” He asked. I looked away and moved my hand from his lips. 

“They kicked me out of class because they caught your last message.” His lips curled up and his chest puffed, almost as if he was holding his breath not to burst out laughing. “I can’t see the funny side of this.”

“Me neither.” 

“Why are you laughing then?” He suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me against him. When I noticed our lips so close, I shut my eyes nervously, sure that he was going to kiss me. Instead of feeling his tongue passing my lips, his hand tangled in my hair, applying a small pressure to make me tilt my head back. He dipped my head in the icy cold water that filled the sink. I struggled and because of the shock I swallowed some of the water. I tried to get rid of him, and I firmly put my hands on the edge of the sink, attempting to come up for air. For a moment I thought he wanted to drown me, but he yanked me back pulling my hair and raised me from the cold water, now dripping down from my hair to the back of my neck, arms, chest, and back. I started to cough. 

“I’m so sorry doll.”

“What the fuck are you doing?” I stuttered trying not to cough, every word felt like I was choking. My brother didn’t even flinch, nor he let my hair slip free. He tugged me against him, causing a small sound of pain. I felt his chin on my shoulder, and his body plastered against mine. God…I knew what was about to happen now. 

“I’m going to give you my first advice as your older brother,” he said kissing my cheek. I clutched the sink and closed my eyes. “Don’t overdo it with the hairspray. You look better with straight hair… don't you think?” He allowed me to lower my head a little, and my eyes fixed on the mirror in front of me. “And with your hair wet you look so sexy.” His eyes were on mine on the mirror and fuck, he was staring at me in such a dirty way that I wanted to tell him to shove me against the stupid mirror and fuck me hard. Considering how he leaned over my body, rubbing himself against my ass, I thought he was going to do it. I tilted my head toward him. “What are you doing?” He asked me, resting his forehead on the back of my head. I felt his breath on my ear, and I saw him closing his eyes through the mirror, trying to breath normally. 

“Kiss me.” My lips grazed his neck. 

“What?”

“I want you to kiss me, Tom.” 

“You’re taking advantage of what I said…that I’ll do everything you ask…” 

I didn’t even want to try to resist the temptation. I pulled one of his dreadlock, and finally our mouth fit perfectly together. He wrapped one arm around my neck, releasing my wet hair and my hands held him while his lips captured mine so eagerly and with so much need that I thought he wanted to devour me. Our lips were moving against each other in such a passionate and wet way, our tongues penetrating in the other’s mouth almost harshly. I loved the way he was holding me and kissing me. He sneaked one of his hands inside my pants. 

“Oh, Tom!” I had to interrupt our kiss to moan his name and his lips lingered on the corner of my mouth. I felt his fingers closing over the base of my cock, firmly holding it. I let my head rest against his shoulder, starting to unbutton my pants myself and with his other hand he grabbed my hips and pulled me back, grinding his groin against my ass. Even through the fabric I could feel how his member, now completely hard, was brushing over my ass. I wished for him to take off my boxers, but he didn't. When he started to stroke me quickly, I melted in obscene moans, and Tom tried to shut them in vain, licking and kissing my lips. 

He was rubbing himself again my ass causing me to sigh even louder, and our tongues met each other every time I moaned, his thumb gently pressing on the tip of my cock. My hair was not the only part of me dripping wet. 

Suddenly our short breaths and pants died in our throat when we heard the bell signaling the end of classes. We stared at each other with wide eyes, temporarily paralyzed. 

“What…what time is it?” I whispered, still close to his lips. 

“It must be around…Half past two?” 

“Time to go home for many students. There’s gonna be a rush here.” He released my erection and removed his hand from my boxers. A shiver went down my spine when he slowly stepped back, and my legs started to shake. Instead of abandoning me and getting away, he waited for me to get back to my senses, and he embraced me, pressing our bodies together, resting his head on mine. 

“Billy…I wanna finish…”

“Bi…Billy? Tom you…you…you’re an idiot!” He held me in his strong arms. “Tom!”

“You don’t want to?” I shrugged, feeling his breath against my neck. Of course, I wanted to finish but…not here. I denied, closing my eyes. Tom started to rub himself against my ass again, and I gritted my teeth. My still wet and present hard on pulsed in response. “I think you want to.” I opened my eyes to look at him. 

Tom was staring at me through the mirror with a very entertained expression on his face. I was blushing, my lips parted, swollen and red, my eyes shiny and my hair soaked, a few wet strands covering my face. 

“That innocent face of yours really turns me on, doll.” 

I surrendered. 

 

 

I heard the loud voices and footsteps of everyone moving toward the door of the building quickly to leave and go home. I could hear everything, almost as if it was happening in the same place I was in, and in a way it was exactly like that. Between us and he rest of the world, there was just a door. Just a small, filthy wood door and four walls around us. 

I was praying that no one decided to enter and find me like this, bent over the mirror, with my pants and boxers lowered to my knees and my shirt wet. My hands rested over the crystal, now fogged because of my breaths and the moans I tried and failed to suppress. I was slightly shaking, and I felt like I could explode with every movement, my cock hard and stiff, the tip wet. 

I couldn’t handle much more, the pleasure was so intense I felt weak. 

Tom… Tom was holding my hips and with the other hand he squeezed my right buttock hard, almost leaving nails marks on it. I could see his face through the mirror. His cheeks were red too, his eyes closed and his lips parted while he pushed inside me, slowly at first, almost gently, and then with such force that I ended up plastered against the cold mirror with his thrusts. That roughness was turning me on even more. I couldn’t understand what about me turned him on so much to act like that, but I surely loved it. 

“T…Tom…” My hands were slipping over the crystal, leaving trails over the fogged part. Tom was squeezing my ass with more force and I could feel his nails marking it, the pulsing of my groin made me realize that I couldn’t hold back much longer. My eyes were wet and shiny with pure pleasure. “Tom…I can’t…” I panted surprised by how husky my voice was. 

“Cum, cum now…” He thrust into me a few more times, trapping me between the cold mirror and his hot body pressed against my back. I screamed his name loudly, feeling him releasing inside me. I couldn't hold back anymore and when he brought his hand to my cock, massaging it and stroking the tip for a moment before squeezing my member, I started to get desperate. 

“Tom!” I couldn’t help but scream, he didn’t let me cum, and it was quickly becoming painful. I needed to cum so bad, but he refused to move his hand. 

“Hold on…” he grunted in my ear before biting it and licking it, causing me to moan and shiver. I felt his release deep inside me, and he let go of my ass. I closed my eyes, and I couldn’t help but scream again when he hit my ass hard. I had to bite my lip to restrain myself from screaming and asking him to hit me like that again, that I wanted more. I didn’t want him to stop, but I didn't allow myself to ask. I was already ashamed that I let him fuck me again, lick and touch every inch of my skin…I let him cum inside me. 

He removed the fingers from the tip of my cock, and I arched my back, my mind empty, finally able to cum, spilling myself on the floor and the mirror, now stained. I screamed again, leaning forward. Tom’s hands grabbed mine on the mirror, entwining our fingers and pushing me against the mirror, almost crushing me with his body. I turned my head to the side and closed my eyes, out of breath and with my chest rapidly rising and falling. 

Tom grunted and moaned low in his throat over my shoulder. He thrust deeper inside me one last time, not letting me move at all, rubbing against my back, causing me to shiver in pleasure when I felt the hard muscles of his chest on me. 

“Oh!” I gasped when he started to pull back, his thick cock slipping out of me. I felt his cum leaking between my legs down my thighs, my ass a little sore and wet. 

“Are you okay?” he whispered, laying his head on my shoulder sighing, trying to regain his breath. 

“Yes,” I said before moving my face from the glass. His arms were still around me, holding me against the mirror. The first thing I saw was my reflection. I was red all over, I had messy hair, and I was sweating. Tom fixed his eyes on me, spent and sweaty. It was then that I finally noticed our similarities. Same nose, same lips, same eyes…”Oh, shit!”

“what?” He asked alarmed.

“We’re the same.” Tom laughed.

“Sometimes it happens that twin brothers look a little like each other. But it rarely happens, almost never!” 

“Idiot! If we really looked the same, this would have never happened!” Tom squinted and fixed his eyes on the mirror in a sinister way. 

“Do you regret it?”

“Yes! I mean…I don’t know.”

“You should.” I swallowed, my heart beating faster when he licked my jawline and before biting it softly. He stepped back, freeing my hands and caressing my hips, brushing his lips over my shoulder. I was shivering in his arms again. “Now it’s too late for regrets.” 

He slapped my ass again with enough strength to make me cry out and turn around, startled and hurt. I knew my cheeks were turning red when I realized I moaned again. He was looking at me, making fun of my reaction. 

“It’s too late. You’re mine now.” I wasn’t completely aware of the meaning of those words at that time.

 

 

“What’s your problem?” I looked up at Tom, way ahead of me, walking through the corridors of the university. I was walking far behind him, and not because I liked to. 

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? Then why do you want to be a snail? Hurry up!” I didn’t pay attention to that, turning my face outraged, slowly walking until I reached him. And it was his fault! “Could it be that…” he smiled. “Your ass is too sore?”

“No!” I was blushing again. “It’s…something else.” 

“Then what?” I wondered if I should tell him or not. Maybe he was going to make fun of me…He was surely going to make fun of me. I felt incredibly uncomfortable. 

“Can you take me home?” Tom raised his eyebrow. 

“Why?” I cringed and closed my legs, wrapping my arm around my lower abdomen and lowering my eyes to the floor. I was feeling warm again, very warm, even small sparks of excitement were coming back to me, but I was out of options. 

“Well, see…”

“Yes?” 

“It’s just…because of what happened before….” I leaned closer to his ear. It was very embarrassing to say, but I didn’t want to stay like that for hours. 

“Yes?” He repeated in a suggesting tone. He was trying to piss me off with that irritating smile. 

“I’m…” I swallowed nervously a few times. “Tom, please…I know you know.”

“Yes, I know. But I wanna hear you say it.”

“What? Why?” 

“Because I like this damn ‘please-I’m-begging-you’ face that you’re making.” What a jackass. I closed my eyes and sighed. 

“I’m wet, damp, do you understand? I wanna go home, take a shower and change, and…”

“Say it again?”

“No! Take me home!” Tom burst out laughing in my face, and I had to swallow my anger. I started to walk again, stoically moving past him. 

When I reached the infirmary door, it opened. 

Between shocked and horrified, my eyes stared at the miserable state Sparky was in, limping out of the room. He had several patches on his face, one covering his nose, one hiding his right eyes and another one on the cheek. The left eye was bruised and swollen, he had cuts on his lips, and a splint was on his right arm, middle and index fingers. He had bruises on his neck too, the clothes he was wearing were the wrong size. In his good hand he had he clothes he wore this morning, splattered red with blood. 

Tom…did that?

Sparky looked at me with his only good eye and turned pale, flinching with a painful expression. But he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking at Tom right next to me. He was staring back at him with a face either of disgust or indifference, I couldn’t tell. 

“Let’s go. I’ll take you home, come on,” He said, ignoring him. I nodded, too shocked to talk. I tried to ignore Sparky when I passed next to him, looking away. How many times that damned bully made me cry since high school! I’ve known him since then, and we mutually hated each other, but for a moment I felt bad for him. 

The blood in my veins froze at the cracking noise I heard. I stopped to look at Tom at my side, apparently perfectly calm, and Sparky next to him, with tears streaming down his face. Tom was crushing his left-hand fingers. 

“Ah! Aaahh!” He screamed. 

“Tom…” I saw how he bent his fingers and sound made me shiver and shake. “Tom, stop!” I grabbed his hoodie and pulled it. Sparky was still screaming, doubled over in pain. “Tom!” I brought my hands to his face, forcing him to look at me. We stared at each other for a second before he rolled his eyes and sighed in resignation. 

He grabbed his arm and pushed him violently against the wall. Sparky collapsed to the floor and curled up on himself, shaking in pain. 

“You were in my way.” That was the only explanation my brother had given him before he started to walk again, calm and composed. 

I stopped for a moment to stare at Sparky. He didn’t look up, nor he said a word. For a small second, I wanted to help him to stand up, but I didn’t do it, and I run after Tom, leaving the building and meeting him in the parking lot. 

“Are you fucking crazy?!” I screamed at him furiously. “You could have killed him!” 

“What are you talking about? Don’t exaggerate.” He kept walking between the cars to his parked Cadillac, without looking at me. 

“Tom you crossed the line!” 

“Of course I didn’t, the guy is an asshole.”

“Tom!” He stopped in front of his car, unlocking it. 

“A lesson once in a while doesn’t hurt. So he will stay in his place, and he will stop sticking his nose where he’s not supposed to. Just an experience.”

“Tom, listen to me!” I grabbed his arm, still too angry to let him get away with it and he looked at me with confusion painted on his face. 

“Why are you so angry?”

“Because what you did is horrible!”

“Well, I’m sorry you had to find out this way but…I am horrible.”

“You’re a monster, Tom!”

“Yes, so?” I couldn’t believe it. He was so calm! I clenched my fists, feeling helpless and stupid. 

Tom looked at me quietly and I noticed how he leaned against his car. After a few seconds, he brought his hand to my cheek, caressing it gently. I couldn’t understand how the same hand that beat Sparky could touch my skin so gently. 

“You’re bad, you know that?”

“Yes, I know.” He shrugged his shoulders. He sneaked his arms around my waist slowly, almost as if he was scared I’d push him away, pulling me to stand between his legs. Our foreheads slowly rested against each other. 

“I don’t understand Tom. I don’t see you in that way. You’re not that bad, you’re not the monster you seemed.” My brother smiled. 

“Doll…I am bad. I am.” He brushed his nose against mine affectionately, almost playfully, caressing the side of my neck. “Didn’t you realize that I’m good only with you?” That answer threw me off. 

“Only with me? Why?” I raised my head, and our eyes met, his wicked smile appeared on his face again. He slowly licked my jawline, and I couldn’t help but close my eyes, starting to feel the arousal curling up inside me again because of that simple contact. He squeezed my ass, and I gasped. 

“I’ll take you home doll.” I bit my lower lip, and I didn’t complain. It will take us fifteen minutes to get home. Fifteen minutes alone with him to ask all the questions I wanted, to touch him as much as I wanted. 

I was thinking about being with him, only with him, and I wasn’t aware of the consequences. Probably, they weren’t good.

 


	7. Chapter 6

  
_**My brother is taking me home. Don't wait for me after class.** _

I texted Georg and then relaxed completely on the passenger seat. I was in his car once again and it brought back so many memories… That was where everything started. 

I looked behind at the back seats. Tom fucked me there for the first time when I didn't even know his name, and now he was sitting next to me, focused on the road, exactly like after that first time.

I realized how surreal this situation was and I shivered. 

**No problem. Will he take you to university from now on?**

Georg texted me back quickly. I stared at the words for a moment before turning my head thinking. 

"Who's that?" Tom asked me. My brother…

"Georg. I told him not to wait for me to take me home."

"Oh…"

"He also asked if you're going to take me to university in the morning from now on," I asked him almost shyly. 

"If you want…" he said almost indifferently.

"Do you want to?" Tom looked at me with his arrogant smirk painted on his face again. 

"It would be good for me to not fall asleep while driving. I'm not even alive in the early hours."

"No? Me too!"

"I hate to get up early."

"Me too. I love sleeping." His smile widened…

"Me too. Sixteen hours of sleep were the best way to spend time at home." For the first time, I heard him speaking of ‘home' talking about Stuttgart. Suddenly, I was incredibly curious. I knew nothing of his life, nothing about him or the city, and nothing about… My father. 

"How was your life there?" Tom averted his eyes from the road for a second to look at me, with a small frown on his face. 

"My life there? Why do you want to know that?" I shrugged.

"Curiosity. You already know I want to know more…" I swallowed nervously. More about you, that's what I wanted to add, but I kept quiet. "You were living in the bad neighborhood, right?"

"I had an apartment in the slums, yes. With my old man."

"Your old man… And mine." It was still uncomfortable to talk about my father after 15 years without knowing anything about him or remembering his face. I noticed how Tom was glancing at me from the mirror, checking out my reaction. "How was it...?"

"The apartment is big, but it looks smaller because of the mess we make. We just pass through the shit we leave around, but no one is actually picking it up… He's never around and I never feel like doing it. One of the reasons why I was kinda happy to come here was to get rid of rats and cockroaches."

"Rats and cockroaches??" I stared at him disgusted, almost screaming in surprise, shocked by that revelation. I was really scared of those horrible creatures, not to mention how absolutely disgusted I was. 

"Yes, huge rats, the size of a small cat, and black. A little before coming here I fought one for biting Ghetti." 

"You fought with a rat?"  
"Yes! And I won. I killed it." He burst out laughing and I thought he was fooling me because it was impossible that he was living with rats, right?

"That thing bit… Ghetti?"

"Yes. Ghetti is my dog."

"You have a dog?" I got excited.

"Yeah… Why? It's not that weird." 

"I love dogs!"

"I don't know why, but I'm not surprised." 

"It's just that… They're so cute!" I bit my lower lip, failing to contain my emotion.

"They're just mutts!" 

"They're faithful, loyal, affectionate, protective, friendly, and incredibly adorable!" Tom rolled his eyes. He was going to answer me, but I quickly cut him off. "What kind of name is Ghetti for a dog?" 

"I don't know. I named her like that because the first time I saw her, she was eating spaghetti…and threw me the plate." 

"Ghetti from spaghetti… That's so not original. How is she?"

"The dog?" he asked in a contemptuous tone. I nodded excited and Tom made a face at me. "I don't know, it's a dog! Four legs, two eyes, snout, ears, tail… No, no tail." He took back his words. "It was amputated when she was run over." 

"She was run over? Poor thing!" 

"Of course, poor thing." 

"And what kind of dog….?"

"You don't want to know more about me, Bill?" He quickly cut me off and he looked at me, with something like bravery reflected on his face. I remembered how much I wanted to know more about him, and the answer to a certain question. 

"Fine, okay. What's up with calling me ‘doll'?"

"What?" he acted like he didn't hear me. 

"Why do you call me Doll?"

"That's not a question about me."

"I know, but I still wanna know."

"Why? It bothers you that I call you doll, doll?" He smiled. I lowered my head, thinking about his words. 

"It depends on why you call me like that. I wonder if it’s it because you think of me as a doll or…"

"Don't try to analyze the situation. I'm not you patient, Mr. shrink."

"And I'm not a shrink, I just want to know why you call me that!" I crossed my arms over my chest, a little upset and sulking, waiting for him to give up and tell me the reason, strategy that always worked for me since I was two, but this time I was failing. 

"Oh come on, don't be mad."

"Then tell me." 

"Hum…no."

"Why? Is it a bad reason? Will I get angry?" Tom just shrugged. 

"It's not a bad reason." 

"Then just tell me." 

"Well, if you insist… But on one condition." 

"That is?" Tom turned the wheel with a mischievous smile. 

"I'll tell you tonight." 

Tonight? What does it mean exactly? I looked at him and carefully thought about it. What he meant to say could mean only one thing. 

"Mum is…" He didn't give me enough time to finish the sentence. Tom was already parking in front of our house. It was half past three. At that time, my mother was surely not home, and that made me nervous all of a sudden. 

Tom and me were home alone… Again. 

"Your mom is not here?" He asked in a suggestive tone when I opened the door, walking as if I was in a hurry, unable to control my nerves. 

"He's never home at this time."

"When does she usually come back?" Tom entered like he lived in that same place his whole life and moved directly to the living room, falling on the sofa without a care in the world, closing his eyes.

"I don't know. Her working hours change every day. Maybe for dinner…" I left the key on the table and I stared at him, standing in front of him, waiting for him to move and sit, or at least make a little space for me. 

"So this means we are alone until dinner?" He looked at me with his eyes bright and he shamelessly licked his lips in an incredibly sensual way. It was obvious what he was thinking about, I could only imagine what he wanted to do to me and I turned red, feeling my body burning. Stubborn as I was, though, I crossed my arms and turned my head indignantly. I was starting to believe that my brother was a damn sex machine, and I was still feeling wet and dirty because of what happened no more than an hour ago. 

I liked it, I couldn't deny. I really liked Tom, the way he kissed me and caressed me, how he touched me, bit me, licked me, how he felt deep inside me, thrusting in me… Even how he hit me. That was the problem. Tom was my brother, what we were doing was incest, and not only that. I was feeling confused, I couldn't clearly say what my sexual preference was, because even if I slept with him, never in my whole life I liked men, ever. But it was different with him. I liked to do it only with him. 

That couldn't be normal. 

"What's going on in that little head of yours?" he asked, raising his head from his position a little. I didn't know how to look at him without falling for his seductive tricks.

"What? You wanna do it again?" Tom raised an eyebrow without moving his eyes from me. "Are you always so insatiable or what? We just did it!"

"It's been fifty-three minutes."

"You counted? So what? It's not even an hour."

"Could it be that you need more?" I didn't get it. I was still exhausted and he looked fresh as a rose. Suddenly he sat up, grabbing my hand and pulling me to him, almost making me fall in his lap. I ended up over him, on all fours, our faces really close, almost touching. My eyes widened. "What's your damn problem? You didn't enjoy it enough?" He laughed loudly, with that mocking smirk on his face. 

"No. No, it's not that… It's just…" He kissed my lips and I shook my head. "This is so weird…" His hands touched my cheek and he gently caressed my lips with the tip of his finger. "I… I don't…" He turned his head to the side and brushed my disheveled hair behind my ear. His mouth closed on the soft skin of my neck. "Ah…" I felt how he licked the skin there, sucking on a small spot, causing me to shiver in his arms. I tilted my head back a little, leaving him more space to do whatever he wanted to do to my neck, unable to resist him. I was starting to feel aroused again, and I wanted him to keep touching me like that, to lick and suck every inch of my skin. 

He kept touching the side of my neck and caressing my lips and with his free hand he pulled up my shirt, brushing my star tattoo with his rough fingers. His lips moved to my shoulder, pulling my shirt to leave more skin exposed. He bit softly on that spot between neck and shoulder, and I involuntarily moaned, blushing immediately. I licked the finger that was brushing my lips, catching it between my teeth when he removed his mouth. 

Tom raised his head and looked at me smiling, clearly entertained. 

"Are you always this easy to get?" My face was on fire. He was making fun of me! I bit down on his finger hard and Tom grunted. "Hey!"

"And you? Are you always so horny?" I groaned, releasing his finger and pushing him on the sofa. I tried to stand up, annoyed, but Tom put his hands around my waist, pulling me against his body. I struggled to get free from his squashing hug and he started to laugh, holding me firmly and with more force. "Hey! You're going to crush me!"

"Yes, I am." 

"What?" I kept struggling without any success. 

"I'm always this horny. It was my favourite pastime in Stuttgart." I stared at him surprised. He told me that like it was the most common thing in the world and I wrinkled my nose. I didn't know how to take it. 

"Often?"

"Several times a day."

"That's not possible."

"Let's say once a day if it sounds better to you." I swallowed nervously.

"With guys?" Tom laughed

"No, no way, I never thought about it. Guys disgusted me."

"So, never with a guy?" He shook his head. "What about me? You're not disgusted with me?" 

"Not with you."

"Why not? I'm a guy exactly like every other guy." Tom's expression changed to one I couldn't interpret. "Why that face? You think I'm more girl than the others?" Tom was quiet for a few seconds, staring at me. 

"Nope, no way, absolutely no."

"Bullshit."

"I never said that." Now I was truly upset. I tried to struggle in his arms, moving around as much as I could, but since he refused to let me go, I started to hit him on the chest. "And you, how many times?" 

"Me?" I stopped for a second. "I don't wanna tell you."

"Oh come on! I already told you!" For a moment, I actually thought about it, but immediately abandoned the idea. I noticed how his hand on my back was slowly moving lower. "Here…"

"Ah!" I jumped slightly and rubbed myself all over him. His hand slipped into my pants, starting to push against my entrance. 

"Or from behind?" I couldn't resist. I couldn't do it, not with that kind of touch. He was driving me crazy. It was impossible to say no, not with arousal controlling me, and that’s what happened to me every time Tom touched me. How could I have changed so much? How could I have turned… into a doll? His doll? 

"Doll?" I felt how he was pressing one finger inside me, almost painfully slow. I bit my lower lip and put my shaking hands on his chest. "Did you ever take it from behind?" I shut my eyes, trembling. My shaking knees were barely holding me up. I felt how he was penetrating me harder and faster now, quickly adding a second finger, pushing them deeper inside me. 

"Ooh fuck!" I saw him licking his lips with that mischievous look on his face and I lowered my head, resting it on his chest, opening my legs a little more, trying to get closer to him. 

"You didn't answer my question." His tone was serious and demanding. His fingers were still moving inside me, stretching me. I was getting hard again. 

"Only you…" I whispered.

"Only me what?" I lift my head, my cheeks flushed. He was staring at me seriously, but there was something dirty in that look. 

"You're the only one that fucked me from behind!" He smiled clearly satisfied with my answer. He let his fingers slip out from me, causing me to gasp. "Tom…" I called after him when I saw him standing up. Was he leaving? Was he leaving me like this again, hard and needy? Not again. 

In the blink of an eye, I found myself lying underneath him, his own body between my legs. 

 

"And from the front?" I supported myself on my hands to be face to face with him. I saw how he was moving his hand on my thigh, reaching my groin and gently squeezing it over my pants. 

Dammit! Tom stop it, you're turning me on way too much.

"Why do you care about how many times I did it in my life?" 

"I care." He stared at me a little frustrated and I sighed. 

"Four times." Tom raised an eyebrow. 

"Four?"

"Yes, four." I saw him frowning a little, evaluating my words. "What? You're surprised?"

"I was almost… Almost convinced you were still a virgin." I was surprised by the disappointment in his voice. "With whom?"

"My last girlfriend, Natalie. Why?" 

"You said ‘last girlfriend'… You had many?"

"Where do all these questions come from?" Tom shrugged. His hand left my crotch to reach the hem of my shirt and he started to pull it up to gently caress my star tattoo. 

"I wanna know more about you too" Those words touched me deep. My heart skipped a beat and then started to beat furiously while his hands were still caressing the skin above my crotch. "How many you had?"

"Six, seven… Maybe more." 

"Really? I didn't expect that much"

"Well, I'm just talking about the serious ones. Summer affairs and the ones like that… A little more."

"Always the ladies' man, doll." We were silent after that. 

Tom seemed lost in thoughts, watching every inch of my chest that he was exposing pulling up my shirt. I felt like melting with every small contact. 

I threw my head back when he leaned over me to kiss my star tattoo. He started to brush his lips over my skin and I took off my shirt, letting it fall carelessly on the ground. I was comfortably lying on the sofa, trembling when I felt Tom licking from my belly button to my left nipple. He gently bit down on it, licking it a few times, the tip of his tongue swirling around the hardened nub. I couldn't help but moan. 

I eagerly pulled up his shirt and Tom moved back a little, taking the huge piece of cloth off of him while I was exploring the hard muscles of his chest with the tip of my fingers. I moved closer to him, my mouth almost brushing against his skin. I blushed a deep shade of red, ashamed of what I wanted to do, and I started to lick and suck the same spot I was touching before. I noticed how Tom shivered a little for a moment. I think it was the first time I noticed him shivering because of me, and I started to leave small bites all over his skin, gently sucking it between my lips until I left red marks. His hands grabbed mine, slowly removing them from his own body, entwining our fingers. 

We stared at each other for a moment. I closed my eyes and parted my lips, waiting for him to capture my mouth with his in that rough and almost violent way that I loved. 

"And what about me?" He whispered, brushing his tongue over my lips. 

I opened my eyes without fully understanding the meaning of his words, eagerly looking for more contact. 

"What?" I gasped between short breaths, my heart beating faster and faster. 

"Am I a summer affair for you or you're looking for more, doll?"

I remained silent, I had no idea how to answer that question and suddenly, a crazy idea came to my mind.

What were we doing… Incest… What was it? Consensual sex between two sick and perverted twins, or was it the beginning of something else? 

I think that for a moment my heart stopped. 

"I was just kidding." My evil twin smirked. "It's nothing more than what you can see and touch, right? It would be stupid and masochistic to think of it as more that what it is, so don't fall in love with me, all right?" I was left with my mouth hanging open at his words. What was he thinking? That I was going to fall for my own twin? This was just for fun, just for the pleasure of it. Consensual sex, responsible, and between grown ups, the desire to try new things, simple perversion and lust. It was just…sex, nothing more...just sex. 

Because we're brothers… So it can't be nothing more, right?

 


	8. Chapter 7

“Boys, I’m home!” I jumped up immediately at the sound and my heart jumped in my throat when I heard my mother entering. I quickly moved away from the sofa, in such a rush I threw Tom to the floor. I didn’t stop to look back at him and grabbed the first thing I saw, his huge hoodie, carelessly putting it on. “Boys? Are you home? Bill, darling?” 

I saw Tom standing up, looking at me with an uncertain face when he realized I put on his clothes. I hysterically pointed to the kitchen door and he frowned, gesturing to his hoodie, currently covering my naked chest, the marks and hickeys he left, and my tattoos. I blindly tried to kick him in the shins, but his pale face and cursing made me realize that I unintentionally caught him higher, a little too close to his groin. 

I couldn’t stop to think about it now. Taking advantage of his lowered guard and inability to speak, I pushed him into the kitchen and closed the door. 

“Bill, honey!”

“Hi, mom!” I tried to smile, sweating profusely when I noticed how she left the bags she was carrying on the floor after looking at me in a strange way. “How come you’re home so early?” 

“Oh, I made plans for today and I asked for a free day. I went to buy a few things I need for tonight’s dinner, it will be special!” I stared at the bags on the floor with a raised eyebrow. 

“What do we celebrate?” 

“That Tom is here and… Gordon will come for dinner tonight! Isn’t it great?” I rolled my eyes, definitely not pleased with the news, but as soon as I noticed my mother’s happy face, I couldn’t help but smile. 

“Great mom, it’s gonna be amazing! Do you need help with anything?” My mother stopped in front of me, with the bags in her hands again and rolled her eyes. She looked surprised and weirded out, that made me swallow nervously. My mother has always been as clever as forgetful, definitely smart, she could always tell when I was lying and when I was telling the truth. That made me even more nervous when she moved closer to me, worried. “What… what’s going on?” Suddenly she frowned. 

“Bill…” It was very rare for her to call me Bill without any other affectionate nickname, which meant that she was angry. Oh God no… “What did you do?” My heart started beating faster again. What if she found out about us? Damn, she’d think I’m crazy, perverted and sick. She was not going to talk to me ever again. She’ll kick me out or worst, send me to a psychiatric clinic! “Sweetie… Well, I guess it’s normal. After all, you’re of the right age.”

“What?” It was the first thing I could say when I had enough sense to react. My mother bit her tongue, suddenly overwhelmed. 

“Well, I suppose you’re old enough to know what you’re doing, but be careful. Having sexual relations at your age is… a delicate matter.”

“What?!” My mother smile, as if what she just said was the most common thing in the world. She brought her hand to my shoulder and noticed how cold her skin was. The hoodie was so big that it was slipping off me, leaving the left shoulder exposed. The hickeys were exposed too and when I realized it, I immediately jumped back from her, properly fixing the sweatshirt. My cheeks were on fire and I was incredibly ashamed by my mother’s giggle. 

“Dear, I understand. I acted like that at your age too. And because of that behavior, I ended up with two beautiful twins. I’m just telling you, be careful. You’re using condoms, right?” 

“Mom!” How could I tell her that I didn’t need them… at the moment. And if I were to use any, they wouldn’t end up on my dick. 

“Where’s your brother?” She asked, picking up her bags again. 

“I think he’s….Where are you going?!” I stood in front of her, stopping her on the way to the kitchen. 

“I’ll drop the bags, sweetie. What’s going on, why are you nervous?” 

“Nervous? Me? Not at all!” I was so anxious that I started to laugh and I clearly felt beads of sweat rolling down my body, my legs were weak and shaking like jelly. 

“Honey, are you okay?” 

“Yes! Of course I am, I’m great!” I small knock behind the kitchen door startled me. Apparently my mother didn’t notice it, but I felt my heart beating furiously in my stomach, so loud I was sure she could hear it. 

“I don’t think you’re okay, maybe you’re coming up with something. I’ll get some medicine…” 

“No!” I yelled and she looked at me with a scared expression. “You can’t go…” My mouth was completely dry. 

“Why?”

“Because… Because… I’m fainting.” I dramatically fell to the floor. 

“Bill!” my mother rushed to my side and started to shake me, screaming hysterically at me. I half opened my eyes without moving and I could see Tom sticking his head out of the kitchen door. “Oh my God, honey, I’ll call an ambulance!” 

“No, mom, stay with me please, I’m really scared!” My mother looked exasperated and lost, she didn’t know what to do. I saw Tom tiptoeing out of the kitchen, closing his pants in a hurry and moving to the front door. “No, no! It hurts!” Tom looked at me with a raised eyebrow, without knowing what to do. There was no way he could just appear home naked from the waist up and without shoes. My mother would never believe he went out like that. “The bathroom!” 

“Bill, what are you doing?!”

“I don’t know mom, I feel bad… I’m fainting again.” Tom hurried to the bathroom while my mother screamed my name desperately and started to pull me toward the sofa. Suddenly I saw Tom again, sticking his head in the doorway. 

“You’ll pay for this.” I read his lips and I noticed how he gestured to his groin, clearly upset, before disappearing into the bathroom. 

I swallowed nervously. I didn’t even hit him so hard. 

“Honey, are you alright? Answer me, sweetie, please!”

“Yes, mom…” I stared at her trying to fake uncertainty and slowly I sat up on the sofa. My mother was really pale. “I’m fine now… I think it was a shock. I’m much better now.” 

“No way! My God, Bill, you scared me so much! It can’t be over that fast, you were delirious! Tomorrow you’ll go to the doctor!”

“What? It’s not necessary, mom.”

“Of course it’s necessary! You’re coming up with something and I won’t rest until you go to the doctor.”

“But…”

“Don’t answer back, you’ll go to the doctor and that’s it.” I rolled my eyes. It was pointless to contradict her. 

“Okay, mom.”

“Now I don’t know if I should cancel the dinner or…” I heard her muttering reluctantly on her way to the kitchen. Sometimes my mother was truly hysterical.

As soon as she was out of sight, I immediately stood from the sofa and I started to carefully make my way to the bathroom, the deep silence almost scared me. I stopped in front of the door for a second, clutching the doorknob in my hand before opening it wide. I didn’t know what I expected to see there, but I was almost disappointed to see that nothing was out of the ordinary. 

Tom was not there. 

I closed the door and left the bathroom wondering if Tom went upstairs or not, maybe to his room. I began to move upstairs and I silently entered his room, throwing a careful glance around. He was not there. I walked to mine and….

“Got you!” He screamed as I opened the door, but he was still out of sight. 

I felt his hands pulling me by the shoulders and pushing me against the door, closing it. It was hurting my back and I shut my eyes, keeping them closed until I saw his hands on both sides of my head, trapping me. 

“You kicked me in the nuts.” I bit my lip nervously. He seemed so angry. 

“You were not moving fast enough and she was going to catch us.” 

“You’ve stolen my clothes! That’s mine.!” He pulled at my, well, his, hoodie, which immediately fall from my shoulders. 

“I was naked! She was going to see all the stupid marks you left!”

“That’s not my problem.” 

“If she catches us, it’s your problem and mine.” He remained silent for a second. 

“Whatever, see if I care.”

“You don’t care? You’re an idiot! Great, my brother is fucking stupid!”

“And mine has a weird obsession for my clothes.”

“What? I’m not obsessed with your clothes!”

“No?” Tom walked to my bed and started to mess up the blankets, putting his hand under the pillow and pulling out his other hoodie, the one he gave me the night we fucked for the first time. He showed it to me with a raised eyebrow. I blushed all over. 

“So this is s gift from the tooth fairy, right?”

“That… that’s not mine.”

“Obviously. It’s mine.”

“But… but you gave it to me because I was cold!”

“I gave it to you, but you never gave it back! Can I ask why you keep it hidden under your pillow?”

“Well… I….” I was too ashamed to tell him that I held it to feel him near me, to feel his scent. 

“Don’t tell me you’re using it to do dirty things, do you?”

“What?” 

“Admit it. No one would keep something from a person they just met for sex if it’s not to remember how they did it. Am I right?” I was stunned, watching how he was shaking his hoodie in front of me with an evil smile. He was teasing me! “What do you do with my hoodie? Do you jerk off on it thinking about me?” My arms were shaking and I felt my temperature rising, this time not because of the arousal. “How naughty you are, doll!” I clenched my fists. My chin was shaking too, since I started to clench my teeth. 

“Shut up.” 

“Maybe you rub it against you.”

“Stop it, Tom. Shut the fuck up.” He didn’t look like he was going to stop and my eyes were stinging. 

“Or maybe you bit it while you finger yourself, dreaming it’s me.” My whole body was trembling. 

“Leave it.” I lowered my head and saw how Tom moved closer to me, obviously making fun of me. 

“Don’t tell me you’re going to cry just because...” I didn’t leave him enough time to finish his sentence before hitting him on the cheek hard, boiling with anger, forcing him to move a few steps back. 

I immediately clutched my fist with the other hand. Dammit, my knuckles hurt. I hurt myself trying to hurt him, and he… I must have hit him really hard. 

“Tom…” My brother remained still, putting his hand to his mouth and lowering his head, his body leaning slightly forward. “I’m really sorry… Does it hurt a lot?” I moved to his side and I raised my hands to his shoulders. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how he’d react after waking from the shock, I didn’t know if he was going to scream at me, or hit twice as strongly as I did, I only knew that I couldn’t go and leave him like that. Especially since I was the one who hit him out of anger. 

He muttered something I couldn’t understand. 

“Tom?” And then he looked up to me. I heard a small crack coming from his jaw. He closed his eyes, stroking his cheek with an angry and irritated expression, and he stared at me. He grabbed me from the neck of the hoodie and started to push me, making me fall on my knees. 

“That’s twice today. What’s going on? If you really want to die just say so, I’ll be happy to make your wish come true.” Yes, I was still angry, but mostly I was scared. I remembered how bad Sparky looked after the fight with my brother. Was he going to do the same to me? Tom already proved more than once that he didn’t care much about people, actually he didn’t care at all. He fucked me knowing full well that we were brothers and he was still doing it, without any remorse… And I let him. Because I liked it. 

I couldn’t understand it. I couldn’t understand how I enjoyed so much making out with my brother, allowing him to touch me, allowing him to fuck me and cum inside me. That was insane. But I loved every second of it. 

And he acted like that just with me. He was good only with me. 

I smiled, the echo of his words still clear in my head. 

“What the fuck are you laughing about?” I didn’t stop to analyze his expression. Suddenly, I couldn’t care less about how angry he was, because with me it didn’t work. He already proved it when I was unconscious, even if he didn’t care about anyone else, he cared about me.

He was good only with me. 

“What the hell are you thinking…?” The tip of my tongue brushed over his lips, he remained still when I moved my mouth over his wounded cheek, gently biting it. 

Shit, I wanted him. Again. I wanted to finish what we started downstairs, I wanted him to touch me more, to hold me again, to do me in every possible way. 

I parted my mouth from his now wet cheek, and I watched him directly in the eyes. Tom half opened his lips, his breath harsh like he just ran ten miles. The arm he was using to hold me trembled a little before leaving me. 

“Slutty Doll.” He jumped on me. We both eagerly reached for the other, and the fact that we were not home alone didn’t prevent us from pressing our lips together, desperately reaching for more contact. I pushed my brother against the closet door, creating a loud noise in the silent room, but that didn’t stop me from kissing him, didn’t stop him from slipping his tongue between my lips. In a moment I realized I was the one kissing him hard, I was the one who felt the need to touch him all over. As if he was mine. 

Tom bit my lower lip before parting from me. We looked at each other, both breathless. He licked his wet and shiny lips and started to play with his lip ring. I couldn’t take my eyes away from him, there was something incredibly hot in the way he was playing with his piercing. 

I couldn’t help but think about what else he could do with that tongue…

“You’re eager… and you’re obsessed with my clothes.” I laughed loudly like an idiot at his words. His naked arms were circling my waist, holding me close to his body, with no intentions of letting me go. His chest was warm and hard, his skin was really soft, with no trace of hair. For a moment, I let my eyes fall close and rested my head there. I felt how his chest moved with his breathing. 

“Well, you’re possessive. And perverted, you like to fuck your brother. I don’t know which one is worst.”

“Doll…”

“Tell me why you call me Doll.”

“Tonight.”

“Gordon will be here tonight, and he’s going to stay, I’m sure.” 

“Who is Gordon?” He was caressing my hair with one hand, the other was still on my hips, under the hoodie, and I had absolutely no intentions of moving from his arms. It felt really good. 

“He’s my future stepfather… our future stepfather.” It was clear to the both of us that we didn’t know what Tom’s place in the family was. He didn’t know if it was better to call my mother mom or Simone, and… we were supposed to be brothers. This is not what brothers do. This was sick. 

“Tom… do you think of me as your brother?”

“What?”

“I am a brother for you….or what?” 

“You got me. I’ll admit it, I don’t consider you my brother.” I moved my head from his chest and looked at him, waiting for him to explain himself. 

“You’re not my brother. You’re my Doll.” He smiled as if he said something funny. That didn’t make any sense to me. 

“Is there much of a difference between a brother and a Doll?” He lowered his head to kiss my lips, barely brushing mine for a second. 

“Of course. If you were just my brother, I couldn’t do this, right?” I rolled my eyes, so close to him we were sharing the same breath. 

“I guess no. It’s that why you call me Doll?”

“It would be hard for me to sleep with you if I thought of you as just my brother, I would be disgusted by the fact. Thinking that we don’t have that relation makes it easier, it’s like you’re as anyone else…”

“Anyone else with whom you can fuck around as much as you want, using him as it please you, like a Doll.” The idea that he was comparing me with anyone else made me upset. “If you don’t like the idea of fucking your own brother, don’t do it.”

“Oh come on, are you going to tell me you think of me as your brother while I’m touching and fucking you?”

“No… But…” I bit my lips. I didn’t think of him as my brother while he was deep inside me, but I knew he was, whether I liked it, or not. That was a contradiction. I didn’t like the fact that my brother was touching me, I liked the fact that Tom was touching me… But he was my brother. 

That made me think hard about us. 

“Oh, Doll.” Tom took my wrists in his hand and removed me from him, pushing me away from the closet and toward the table. I raised my hands to his face, still looking at him almost hypnotized. “Who did you think was touching you in the car, the first time?” 

“A… A stranger. I didn’t know who you were.” 

“So why did you let me fuck you?”

“Because…I liked you.” 

“And now, who do you think is touching you and holding you against this table?” 

Tom moved his mouth closer to mine with every word, his groin rubbing against mine in a way that was turning me on again. I smiled, licking my lips. Tom was looking at me, captured by my movements and I felt silly. 

Come on, what are you waiting for. Take me. 

“The one that I want to fuck me… Tom.” He smiled. 

“And who is Tom for you? Your brother?”

“ Fuck my brother, I want you!” Again, we grabbed each other at the same time, I felt like a thirsty man in front of a glass of water, I desperately needed him. I reached for his face, our lips finally fitting perfectly together. He pulled up the sweatshirt, silently cursing the clothes that forced us to part, and when he finally took the article off of me he grabbed my ass and put me on the table, throwing everything on it on the floor. I didn’t give a damn about books and notes falling, not while his mouth was still on me, our tongues fighting for dominance. 

I circled his neck with my arms, twirling my fingers in his dreadlocks, almost pulling on them every time he did something particularly good with his tongue, or when he started to squeeze my ass, pressing me against himself and rubbing his groin on me. 

I scratched him, moving my hands all over his back until I reached his large pants and starting to lower them, losing myself in the feeling his soft skin beneath my fingers. 

“Bill?” We immediately parted in horror, the sound of someone knocking on the door scaring us. We stopped kissing, our breaths coming out in short pants, but our hands remained on the other’s body. 

“Bill, are you there?” I didn’t have any option. I released Tom and I slowly pushed him to the side. I moved down from the table and touched my puffy lips in a foolish attempt to make it look like I was not desperately making out with someone. Tom fixed his clothes and pulled up his pants before sitting on the bed faking calm.

“Yes?”

“Bill, can I come in?” I looked at Tom, trying to regain my breath. He nodded silently. 

“Sure.”

“Hi, Bill!” Gordon, my future stepfather walked in smiling and hugged me. 

“Gordon!” I hugged him back and he almost squished me in his big arms. 

“It’s been so long since the last time I saw you! Where have you been? Busy with school? Your mother told me that you’re doing really good at the university.”

“Oh well, I do what I can.” He moved his eyes to Tom then, that big smile still on his face. 

“You must be Tom.” 

“Hey.” The fake smile on his face was so practiced but still so obvious. He got up and they shook hands. 

“I didn’t imagine you to be like this, I thought you looked a lot like Bill.”

“Yeah, I guess that not every pair of twins is as identical as they say.” 

Suddenly I could almost feel the tension sparkling. 

“You’re going to stay for dinner, right Gordon?”

“Yes, I think I should go help your mother setting the table if I don’t want to be accused of laziness. We’ll see you in… five minutes.” I nodded, watching him leaving like he arrived. 

“Bill? Those tattoos are not real, right?”

“Oh! Well…” I made a face and Gordon shook his head. 

“Make sure your mother doesn’t see them.” 

“I intend to avoid that.” 

He closed the door, leaving us alone again. I sighed, now more relaxed and relieved. I heard a weird noise and I noticed Tom touching his neck roughly. 

Judging by his expression, it seemed he didn’t like my stepfather. 

“Seems like today is not your lucky day,” I told him, and he smiled a little. 

“No?” He caressed my cheek with his hand, lingering on my lips for a moment, almost as if he intended to kiss me, but he moved back. “I’d say it is.” And he disappeared toward his room. 

I licked my lips a few times, catching traces of his taste and I kicked the door closed, barely containing my emotion. 

Dammit, Tom! You’re driving me crazy!

 


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that I needed to add more here, as this is one of the best fics in the tokio hotel fandom....
> 
> So I'm back, and I'll be adding the rest of the fic :)

“Tom!”  
  
“Mh?” Tom was half lost in the basketball game on the tv. His I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude was pissing me off, but more than anything, my mother and Gordon on the sofa were pissing me off, staring at each other like they were the only thing in the world, holding each other.  
  
Damn, what a silly thing! It made me even more angry to admit that deep down I was a little jealous of that behavior. Natalie and I were like that once, I was almost ashamed of how sappy and corny I was but… I was in love. What was I supposed to do?  
  
“How in the world am I supposed to take this out of the oven without burning my hands?” I looked at Tom, who was opening the oven and looking at the fruitcake my mother made with an aggressive look on his face, without knowing what to do.   
  
“Use the oven mitts”  
  
“Oven mitts?”   
  
“You don’t know what’s an oven mitt?” Tom threw a quick look around and grabbed the apron mi mother used while she was preparing dinner. He showed it to me with a questioning look on his face. “No, that’s not at oven mitt, that’s an apron, you idiot.” He raised an eyebrow surprised.   
  
“Have you ever cooked anything in your life?”  
  
“Of course I did! Canned food, in the microwave.”  
  
Dear Lord, how did I go from Natalie to this?   
  
“Move!” I put on the oven mitts and took the cake out of the oven myself, trying to be as careful as possible. I put it on the table and smiled looking all proud and superior. “That’s how you do it.”  
  
“Oh please. Don’t tell me you think you’re better than me because you know how to take out a cake from the oven.”  
  
“I’m just more experienced when it comes to cooking things, I’m just saying.” Tom laughed loudly while I took out the cutlery. I couldn’t see what was so funny.   
  
“You’re such a fag.”  
  
“What?!” He crossed his arms, looking at me with something between sufficiency and cockiness and sat on the table.   
  
“You like it when I fuck you, right? You like to take it in the ass. It’s pretty obvious.”  
  
“Bullshit! What about you then? You like to fuck your brother’s ass, you fucker! That you couldn’t control yourself enough to not hit on me, knowing full well that I’m…”  
  
“Don’t threaten me with forks!” I looked at the hand I raised, clutching the cutlery I just took out, and I dropped them on the table slowly.   
  
“I had a girlfriend. Everything was normal until you arrived.”  
  
“Ah! I still have to see your ex.” Son of a…I turned around to get my phone, ready to make him take his words back, and I started to flick through the gallery. I still had a picture we took at the beach last summer when we took the bus and run away to spend the weekend at her parent’s summer house. We were hugging on the beach in our bath suits. She was beautiful. I put the phone right in front of my brother’s face.   
  
“This is Natalie. My ex.” I smiled at how surprised he look.  
  
“Your…ex?” I nodded. I was proud of her. “Look at those tits!” He immediately took the phone from my hands. “Holy shit, what a cute blonde!”  
  
“Tom! Give it back!”  
  
“And those legs!”   
  
“Tom!” I was trying to take back the phone, but he was keeping me at a safe distance. “Give it back!”  
  
“And you fucked her! I can’t believe it!”  
  
“You’re an idiot!”  
  
“Oh! Ops…I may have accidentally deleted the pic.” I jumped on him when I heard that, grabbing the phone and watching in horror how the photo was gone.   
  
“What the fuck did you do?”   
  
“That was not good for you, trust me Doll. It’s better in this way.”   
  
“It’s not good Tom!! It was the only picture I had of her!” Tom fixed his hat, careless as always.   
  
“So what? She’s your ex, right? So who cares!”  
  
“I care! I care a lot, you’re a jerk! Why did you delete it, it was mine!”  
  
“Yours?” He jumped off the table, with his typical cocky expression that gives me goosebumps, and when I saw him moving closer to me, looking like he wanted to jump my bones, I took a few steps back. I saw my mother and Gordon curled up on the sofa, it was pure luck that they didn’t realize how loud we were yelling, it was damn stupid to tempt fate to fuck on the kitchen table like cats in heat.   
  
“Tom, mom is just…”  
  
“So what?” I opened my eyes wide when he took my wrists in his hand and he raised my hands, moving his face closer to mine. I stepped back, my eyes fixed on my mother, damn! She’s gonna see us!  
  
“Tom, you’re such a freak! Let me go!” For a moment I thought he’d listen to me and he threw a quick glance to my mother.   
  
“Bullshit!” I was wrong. He pulled me away from the living room door to a dark corner of the kitchen. I was almost tempted to call my mother, but I didn’t do it. Tom was such an unpredictable asshole, he could even fuck me on the kitchen floor with my mother in the room.   
  
What kind of person I ended up with.   
  
“Tom…” I lowered my voice. Once we were out of my parents sight, I was afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop, and I’d play along with him. Stupid Tom, with his stupid way to make me lose control! “Dammit Tom, they’ll see us!”  
  
“I don’t care.” His mouth was suddenly too close to mine, and he was still holding my wrists, plastering me against the wall, cornering me like a wolf with his prey. With a huge effort, I turned my head, avoiding his lips. Tom was still for a moment, before shaking me roughly.   
  
“Hey!”  
  
“I don’t feel like doing it, you jerk! You may not care, but I do! You can’t be such an animal that you don’t see what’s in front of you!”  
  
“Yes, I’m an animal and I’m horny. Do you need a picture to understand?” He moved closer to me again, with the intention of closing his mouth over my neck. I shifted my leg a little and pressed my knee against his hard on.   
  
“Either you stop, or I’ll kick you again.” Toms stared at me with an angry look.   
  
“”Son of a…”  
  
“Boys! What happened to the dinner? When are you going to lay the table?” I smiled as soon as I heard my mother’s words from the living room, nothing was as nice as my bother’s angry and upset face.  
  
“Move, cooking disaster.” But he didn’t move. He clutched my wrists harshly, it was almost painful and a small whimper left my throat.   
  
“Careful how you speak of this Natalie in front of me. You’re not her…Now you’re mine.” He finally let me go, but I was paralyzed by the spark of pleasure and arousal that took me when he put his hands on my crotch, squeezing it.   
  
“Oh!” Another moan escaped me. I grabbed his hand and I don’t even know how I was able to contain myself and not rub against it, maybe I was doing it just to avoid the satisfied and smug look on Tom’s face. He was staring at me like he wanted to tear my clothes apart and fuck me hard, but there was something else in his look, something like surprise and pride.   
  
He squeezed my cock again. “And I know you like to be mine,” He whispered against my lips, gently biting my lower lips, and then he left me…exactly when I didn’t want him to let me go anymore.   
  
How did I end up being his Doll, he was such a jerk. The worst thing was that he was right. I loved being his property.   
  
Bill, you’re a fucking masochist.  
  
  
  
  
“Tom, you like sports?” My brother looked away from the basketball game on tv and looked at my stepfather with something really close to disinterest. The four of us were sitting at the table with a full plate. Tom was sitting at my side, the fork in his hand, but he still had to start eating.   
  
“Sports? Yes…well, some…”  
  
“Are you good at it?” Tom just shrugged.   
  
“Yeah, but I’m lazy and I don’t play well in a team. Once I played an official basketball match and…no, I’m definitely not made to be in a team”  
  
“Why not? You didn’t pass the ball? You don’t know how to share, brother.” The sarcasm in my voice was meant to annoy him and I received a cunning smile.   
  
“You know I don’t like to share with others what’s mine, I think ou already know, baby brother.” I bit my lower lip, I deserved it.   
  
“Why you’re not good at team play? It looks like you have very good coordination.” I watched the pitiful attempt Gordon was making to win my brother’s favor as new stepfather. I guess he was sure I was already won. I liked him as a father, maybe because he didn’t remind me of mine, and he was a good paternal figure for me, cool and nice, but I suspected it was going to be harder with Tom. “Did you lose the game you played?”  
  
“Yes…because they kicked me out after three minutes.” He was staring at the fish with a frustrated expression on his face, the fork still in his hand. It took me a few minutes to realize that Tom had no idea how to open the fish and take out the thorns to eat it. Mind it, when I say he was a kitchen disaster I wasn’t referring to this! It looked like he wanted to perform an autopsy on the fish! Where did this guy grew up to not even know how to eat properly!?  
  
“They threw you out after three minutes? Why?”   
  
“I attacked a player of the opposite team.” Why I wasn’t surprised?  
  
“You attacked him?” My mother was drinking her glass of water and she almost choked at hearing that. A lawyer, obsessed with rules, poor woman. She didn’t know she had a criminal in her house.   
  
“I broke his nose. He was in my way while I was trying to score. They gave me a penalty and tried to send me to the bench…tried.”   
  
“Tried?” Tom rolled his eyes. I noticed how he was starting to get mad at the fish.   
  
“I also attacked the referee who gave me the penalty, and the coach too…and they threw me out because I set fire to the opposite team’s mascot.” Gordon stared at him with his eyes wide. I had to restrain myself from giggling at how Tom was upset by his own helplessness in front of the fish. I elbowed him and started to open mine, carefully cutting it. I smiled at him and surprisingly he smiled back, beginning to imitate my gestures.   
  
“Oh well…that’…interesting.” My mother threw a glance in Gordon’s direction.   
  
“If you think that’s interesting, mom knows a lot about my experience in the crime field.” He was finally able to open the fish, and he cut a bit off. That was not going to end up well since he didn’t take out the bones.   
  
“I don’t think that’s a suitable topic to make conversation.”  
  
“Why not? I’m interested.” I interrupted her. Truth is, I liked to see the rebel and dark attitude my brother showed. It was exciting for me. It was pointless to lie.   
  
“Sure, you can always use me as a guinea pig for your shrink career.” He coughed a little and took a big sip of water. I knew that the bones would bother him. “Actually, I’m marked. Your mother didn’t say that?”  
  
“Marked? Really? Wow, you’re a criminal.”  
  
“I am.” And he laughed. Three days ago, a marked guy would have made me back off, but at this point, nothing coming from my brother surprised me anymore. And being close to him was not making me uncomfortable, actually it was the opposite.   
  
“What did you do? You didn’t kill anyone, did you?”  
  
“No, I didn’t go that far, but I got pretty close, and it was not because I didn’t want to.”   
  
“Oh…Then what did you get involved with? Rape, murder attempt, robbery?” My mother was trying to kill me with her gaze and Gordon was trying to eat without choking, staying out of the conversation. Not that I care much about that. I was too focused on Tom to stop and think about everyone else’s reaction. Again, I couldn’t care less.   
  
“A few robbery…” He made a weird face and put his fork down, raising a hand to his throat. I suspected he hurt himself with the bones. “Breaking and entering caused trouble here and there, agent aggression, graffitis, threats…constant fights…I can’t remember if there’s more…”  
  
“Pyromaniac acts.” My mother murmured. She was not just tense and angry, she was embarrassed too. Why? Because Gordon was there? He may think ‘what a gift to have a son like that’. I’ve never thought that one day I’d I didn’t care.   
  
Tom was not that evil, at least not with me. He was…different, but not bad. Since he arrived in Hamburg he didn’t do anything bad…except for sleeping with me and breaking Sparky’s face, but that wasn’t too serious, right?  
  
“But that’s why you’re here, to control your aggressive behavior and walk on the right path. Obviously the place where you’ve been raised had a strong negative influence on you. It will be better for you to stay here.” My mother spoke in a serious and calm tone while Tom only nodded a few times.   
  
“Of course. I’m sure my little brother will do wonders for my trauma with his brilliant psychology, right Bill?” I smiled. Damn, you’re crazy. Everything was a joke for Tom, but when my mother was serious, it was better to be careful.   
  
“I guess it will be good for you to have a mother. Grow up alone with only a busy father must have been hard.” I swallowed nervously, looking between my mother and Tom. Gordon was doing the same, he looked worried. Mom was treading on a dangerous ground, somewhere she didn’t even intended to go, and Tom…I didn’t know how Tom was going to react, but it wouldn’t be nice if she said something bad about his father. I’d understand it if he tried to defend the man from my mother’s words, but…again, my brother’s attitude shocked me.  
  
“Busy? More like drunk. And putting up with a man drunk off his mind it’s easier than they tell you. You give him Tequila and he’s gone. And then you just need to learn to take care of yourself. Besides, I had a mother.” He let it out with a smile like it was not a big deal...like it was not important.   
  
My father was an alcoholic. He went to therapy way too often but he never escaped that vicious circle and my mother was tired of all that, tired of paying the bills, managing the house, and look after the kids all alone, so she decided to get a divorce. My father sadly accepted. Whatever love was between them drowned in alcohol but my father refused to disappear and never see the kids again. My father was going to move to Stuttgart and he couldn’t see the children every two weeks and respect the terms of the custody. So they decided that the better solution was to split us.   
  
I can’t remember if I cried, or if I felt something close to plain. Those moments in my life were a big white blank space because…well, according to certain things I learned in psychology school and others Georg explained me, there were two options.   
  
The first one was that I didn’t care much about my brother leaving, and that’s basically impossible, because at that age kids are really close to the people around them, especially if they are brothers.   
  
The second one was that I experienced so much pain that my mind buried deep down that part of my life so I could forget how bad it was.   
  
At that stage of our life, my mother, my father and me, even if I couldn’t remember it, were really low. I frowned. There was nothing funny about that.   
  
But how come he had a mother? I didn’t understand that, but my mother did, and she felt bad.   
  
“Helem, right?” Tom smiled at the name. It was familiar. “How’s your stepmother?” She asked as naturally as she could pretend, and I figured it all out. Contacts with my father were close to nothing since he left home, and not because my mother didn’t try to contact him, but because I was not interested at all. And my father got married again…  
  
“My stepmother?” Tom raised an eyebrow, the smile still on his face. “Dead. It’s been 8 years.”   
  
Shit.   
  
“D… Dead?” My mother paled. Gordon and I lowered our heads, shocked by the answer. “My God.”   
  
“It was a car crash.” That was the only explanation my brother gave and the room fell into a deep silence. We started to eat again, our appetite lost in the uncomfortable situation.   
  
“That…That must have been hard for you, Tom.” I stared at my brother and he was surprised. He was truly surprised by my shocked face.   
  
“Hard? Why?” He asked as if his stepmother’s death was not something he cared about, something to be careless about. I couldn’t stand it anymore. The coldness he was showing was too much for me, for all of us. Mom stood up, his eyes wet with unshed tears, pale as a ghost.   
  
“Dinner’s over.” No one finished the food. No one cared.   
  
We were not hungry anymore.   
  
Gordon left right away. I heard him asking my mother if she wanted to finish dinner or watch a movie, or if she just wanted to talk about what happened. Mom said no. I think she was scared to leave Tom and me alone.   
  
“Bill, I’m going to bed darling. I don’t feel good and I have to wake up early tomorrow to…”  
  
“It’s fine mom, I’ll take care of this, don’t worry. Good night.”   
  
“Good night, dear.” She kissed my cheek and moved to leave the room.  
  
“Good night mom.” I could clearly see how my mother shuddered when she walked past my brother.   
  
“Good night, Tom.” Her voice was broken. She disappeared up the stairs like a ghost. I started to wash the dishes, ignoring Tom behind me. I grabbed the sponge a little too harshly, wetting my arm.   
  
“How can you be so cold?” I asked him without looking at him.   
“I really don’t understand why you were all so tensed when I told you about Helem’s death. You didn’t know her at all.”  
  
“That’s not what upset us, it was the way you were talking about her like you could care less. What’s your problem? Did you hate her?   
  
“No.”  
  
“She was bad with you or something?”   
  
“No. She was nice, clever and entertaining, she was always helping me with homework.” I dropped the clean place in the sink, producing a loud noise, and turned to look at him, a frown on my face.   
  
“The woman who you can consider a mother died and you laugh when you speak of that. You make fun of your drunk father and of your crimes, you don’t care about being marked by the police, and you don’t show any kind of remorse for sleeping with me! Where the hell did you come from?” He was not laughing anymore. His expression was serious and almost sad, miserable. He moved closer to me.  
  
“Doll…I am from hell. I’m the devil.”   
  
And he laughed in my face like he was used to. That attitude made me lose it, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I threw the wet sponge to his face, infuriated.   
  
“It’s not funny, you stupid jerk! Don’t even think about coming to my room tonight!” I yelled at him, angry and upset, and without listening to him anymore, I run to my room.  
  
“Doll…” I ignored his voice and closed the door of my room before resting my forehead against it, tired. I was very nervous, and it was all because of Tom.   
  
He hurt mom’s feelings and he didn’t even seem to realize what he did. His crimes seemed almost like something funny while he mentioned them, but now I realized I was just selfish.   
  
Tom was perfectly capable of destroying everything in his path with absolutely no regrets, he was like the perfect criminal or killer, evil seeds were growing inside him. And I was safe. I was close to him and he granted me safety and protection, to me. The same person who didn’t care about his mother or father cared about me! He allowed me to face him, but why me? I wasn’t even able to control myself and the desire he made me feel.   
  
“Why me, Tom? What do you want from me?” I rested my shoulders on the door for a second, sighing. “Tom…”   
When I opened the door, he was right in front of me, staring with an expression I couldn’t identify. He didn’t show threat or anything bad, he was standing outside my door, still and silent. I let him walk into my room and he closed the door on his way.   
  
“What kind of monster are you, Tom?” he raised an eyebrow and made a face at the question.  
  
“You don’t have to worry about that.” He was moving closer to me, quiet as if he was studying the best way to approach me. He took one of my hands into his own gently, almost as if he was scared, prepared to move away in case I rejected him, but I didn’t. His rough fingers sent shivers traveling down my spine and my heart began to beat so fast and so loud I was sure he could hear it.   
  
“I may be a monster, and I may be dangerous, but you don’t have to fear me.”  
  
“I don’t have to fear you? You just admitted…”  
  
“Yes, I admitted it. And since I’m being honest, you don’t have to fear me. I’m dangerous, but not for you.”   
  
“Why not for me?” Tom stopped to think for a moment, a small smile on his face, without any trace of malice.   
  
“You have to discover that for yourself.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“I’m your first patient, Doctor Kaulitz. If you can handle me, you’re gonna be the best psychologist in the world.” I laughed.   
  
“Well, if I have to treat you, I’ll need to know more about you.”  
  
“More?”  
  
“Everything.” Tom bit his lower lip.   
  
“There are a lot of things.” Our hands were still united, I felt how he was caressing the palm of my hand with his fingers, and how good was that simple contact with my skin.  
  
“We have a lot of time.” He didn’t answer. We were staring at each other without uttering a single word. I felt my cheeks burning up when my brother started to play with his piercing.   
  
“Do you want…”  
  
“Tom, every time I’m more and more convinced that you’re pretty stupid, besides being a criminal.” He raised an eyebrow with a surprised face and I started laughing.   
  
He shook his head.   
  
“To hell with that shit.” As soon as our lips came in contact, I felt him slipping his tongue inside my mouth eagerly. I was losing control again like a madman, desperate for more, and again, I allowed him to play with me like I was his prey.   
  
Yes, yes, I wanted to be his prey, I hoped he devoured me.   
  
I pulled his hat and the bandana off his head.   
  
He barely had the time to let out a small complaining noise while I was taking off my shirt, and I twisted my fingers in his dreadlocks, chasing his lips with mine again, licking the corner of his mouth.  
  
We fell on the bed, me on top of him, trying to not break the kiss. His tongue caressing and playing with mine eagerly.  
  
“Why do we always end up like this?” I asked, grabbing his arms and forcing them around me, his hands immediately finding their way toward my ass and he squeezed it.   
  
“Who knows. Maybe we’re meant to always end up like this.” I tilted my head back and I stared at that bad boy smile painted on his face.   
  
“I highly doubt it. Now..fuck me. Hard.”   
  
“You want it rough?”   
  
“Break me.”   
  
“You’ll wish you never said it, Doll.”   
  
I guess that was the moment when I became his Doll, and despite everything, I couldn’t see anything wrong with that. I stopped thinking it was my brother who I was having sex with, and it was surprisingly easy to do so, I couldn’t see Tom in that way. He was just a guy...well, my guy.   
  
Tom didn’t consider me as his brother, or his man, or whatever else, but as his Doll, and I still couldn’t see the difference.


	10. Chapter 9

It can't be, it can't be. What the fuck is this bullshit? What the hell is everyone saying in this damn university about me that they are all studying my movements?  
  
  
Look, here comes Bill, stop doing whatever you are doing, stop making out, stop studying for the economy exam, stop playing basketball, stop talking and start whisper and shamelessly look at Bill! He's looks like he just woke up, and no way! He has straight hair! What a change of appearance!   
  
  
But look, look, don't be shy!  Bill is used to it, like a fair monkey! Do you want a picture of me or something?mLong live the country of no shame! Keep whispering, don't stop. Act like I didn't notice it, I surely don't mind! They're shameless! They don't even stop to point at me.  
  
  
Stop looking at me, it's not like I'm an international rock star! All I need is for them to start screaming! But look, that's the guy who sleeps with his twin! Fuck, fuck, fuck... I really hope they're not looking at me because of that.  
  
  
When I walked into the class, there was an awkward silence that sounded way too uncomfortable for me. I sat at my desk and... Whispering explosion again. Evetyone was looking at me with such an attitude that made my hair stand on end. What the fuck was going on?  
  
  
"Do I ask him?" I heard a group of girls whispering, smiling. I knew them. Well, I knew a lot of people at university, at least by face.  
  
  
"Yes, come on, ask him! Solve the doubt for the university."  
  
  
"Do you think it's true?" A group of guys joined with the girls, with big smile on their faces.  
  
  
"I don't know,  but did you hear? They said they've seen him kissing there."  
  
"I wouldn't be surprised if it's true. It was to be expected."  
  
  
"And what about Derk? Do you need more evidence? He beat him up!"  
  
  
What? What!? Oh, no. This can't be happening to me, no way.  
  
  
"Bill?" I looked up slowly. I was immediately surrounded by a group of girls and the others were staring at me in silence. I swallowed nervously and raised an eyebrow. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
  
"Yes?" I whispered with a husky voice. The girls started to giggles, the sound wasn't helping with my nerves.   
  
  
"Is it true that your boyfriend beat Derk up to protect you?"  
  
  
"Boyfriend?" I jumped from the chair, with my hands gripping the table so hard my knuckles turned, my eyes wide. I didn't  know which  face I made, but the whole class started to laugh even louder.  
  
  
"Come on, Bill! We know about you and that guy! Admit it!"  
  
  
"It was so obvious!"  
  
  
"Shove it up your ass! Idiots!"  
  
  
"You do it! I bet you have a lot of experience with that!" I ignored the annoying idiots and faced the girl that was silently waiting for an answer, a smile on her face.  
  
  
"I don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend! Where did you get that news?"  
  
  
"So it's not true that your boyfriend beat up Derk two weeks ago? Look, he didn't  come back." I glanced at Sparky's seat, remembering his name all of a sudden. His name was Dereck, everyone called him Derk because of his fame. So that's what they were talking about. "It's  true, isn't it?"   
  
  
"I'll say it again, I don't have a boyfriend."  
  
  
"But they saw you getting into his car after class!"  
  
  
"I don't even know who are you talking about okay!?"  
  
  
"The new guy, with dreadlocks, don't play dumb! Who is he?"  
  
  
Dreadlocks... I only knew one person with dreadlocks in my life. Only one.  
  
  
I bit my lip and sighed. They had me into a real tight spot.   
  
  
  
"See... he's not my boyfriend, he's... my brother. My twin brother." Cries and groans exploded all around the class. I crossed my arms on my chest, listening to every noise they made and every giggle without knowing what to do. Fuck, I was telling the truth! It was better to not mention a certain other thing.  
  
  
No, really, he's my brother, it's just that I like it when he fucks me hard, oh and he has a weird obsession with me, he's really possessive...Did I mentioned that he's marked by the police? No big deal right?   
  
  
I'd never say that.   
  
"You know what? We don't believe you," said the girl who seemed to be the messenger. The guys  supported her and I was too tense to think about what to do or what to say. How in the world this rumors arrived? Who was the first to say such a thing? An idea started to form in my head...Sparky, that damn jerk. "And since we don't believe you, we asked him directly."   
  
"Asked who? What?"  
  
"To the guy with the dreadlocks, who else? We saw him coming out of the bathroom in the second block and we asked him and he..." A big smile appeared on the girl's faces and I was about to grab her by the shoulders and shake her to make her lose that smile. "He didn't deny it."  
  
"What?!" I screamed louder than I intended to.  
  
"He started to laugh and he didn't deny it. He didn't say anything but he seemed happy."   
  
"No shit!" The stupid group around me started to laugh again. I turned and threw them a killer look.   
  
"Shut the fuck up, idiots! I've had enough of your kindergarten bullshit!" They immediately shut up, finally quiet. Frank was the first one to react with an hostile expression on his face.   
  
"You're telling me to shut up, you fucking faggot?"  
  
"Come here and tell it to my face!" The girls immediately moved away from me, and the whole class stepped back as soon as they saw Frank running toward me with the face of someone who was looking for troubles.   
  
I felt the rush of adrenaline and took a step forward. I was ready to hit him hard, I didn't care about picking up a fight.   
  
  
"He's here, he's here!" I turned to the girl that was hysterically screaming, pointing outside the class, almost jumping around. "The guy with the dreadlocks is here!"  
  
 I stood there with my mouth open. What? Tom? The whole class left in a hurry, opening the windows on the hall and leaning on them. Some of them were truly without a shame, they went out and remained standing there, smiling, watching. I moved right after them and I had to make a way pushing through the crowd.  
  
  
Tom was there, his back turned, facing the lockers. I couldn't see his face, but his long dreadlocks gathered in a ponytail were unmistakable. Today he wasn't wearing the cap, he only had a bandana over his forehead. He had his headphones, moving his head absent-mindedly, listening to the music and not a care in the world.  
  
  
When he turned, my ear almost exploded for the hysteric screaming of the girls.  
  
  
"God, he's so hot!" long live the insolence in this university!"  
  
  
"I hope he's really his brother and not his boyfriend, it would be such a waste!"   
  
  
"He looks like he's an animal in bed," they didn't even know the half of it, they had no idea of how incredibly accurate their words were. Tom was... pfff... impossible to describe.  
  
  
Tom exhausted me, yes, but I wouldn't change him for anyone else in the world. He was full of energy and I discovered a perverted side of me I didn't know I had. I loved how rough and strong he was with me when he was fucking me, the way his dirty words could make me moan, how eager he was when we were making out and how long her last in bed. Not to mention his body, not too muscular but strong, perfectly shaped... It was a real turn on for me. I used to scratch his back when we were fucking, too lost in the moment to care about my nails or about how I was often biting soft spots on his skin. I used to hold on to him, and we'd never want to stop. We even broke pieces of furniture in our lust induced state. Yes, we were animals.  
  
  
Holy shit, he's so handsome today.  
  
  
"He's looking at us!" Of course he's looking, he had obviously noticed fifty pairs of eyes on him, but he wasn't looking at a random person, no. At first he frowned with a confused expression when he noticed how many people were looking at him, and them he looked at me, slowly taking off his headphones without averting his eyes from me.  
  
  
I didn't notice when I licked my lips, my heart beating faster and faster. Tom smiled with a teasing expression and he winked at me, leaving me puzzled.   
  
  
"Have balls, Kaulitz, admit that he fucks you at night!" I looked at Frank next to me, laughing quietly. Yes, I was going to have the balls and clear things up.  
  
  
I ran towards Tom, who was waiting for me with his back resting against the lockers, his cocky expression on his face again.   
  
  
"What's going on? Do you brag about fucking with your brother or what?" He said, leaving me angry and without a comeback.  
  
  
"Me!? You're the one who's saying weird things! The whole university thinks we're dating!"  
  
  
"Yes, I heard something like that," he said, laughing about it like nothing.  
  
  
"You have to fix it!"  
  
  
"Me?"  
  
  
"Yes, you! Just say that you're my brother and that's the end of it!"  
  
  
"And why should I do that?"  
  
  
"Because you are my brother!"  
  
  
"Yes, and we're actually fucking. What they're saying it's not far from the truth, doll."  
  
  
"Tom!" he rested his head back against the locker, smiling. He stretched his neck and I could clearly see small dark spots near the collarbone. I did that to him. I did that when I bit his neck the night before, and I wanted to do it again in that moment. I shook my head and fell back against the locker right next to him, trying to look upset.  
  
  
"Don't look at me like that, I already wanna fuck you against the locker," I felt my cheeks burning.   
  
  
Same, Tom. Shit.  
  
  
I felt an unpleasant shiver travelling down my back and I turned around. Everybody, some people more shamelessly than others, were staring at us and whispering, no exception. The people passing by turned to look at us before moving on their way, everyone stopped to pay attention to us at least for a few seconds. I felt like an animal on display during a fair.  
  
  
"Give me your driver's license." Tom made a face.  
  
  
"For what?"  
  
  
"To wipe my ass! What do you think? I'm going to show it to everyone! We have the same last name, right? So, give it to me." he rolled his eyes and didn't move, incredulous.  
  
  
"The driver's license is fake. Does it still work for you?"  
  
  
"Fake!?" I screamed unable to contain myself, my mouth wide open. Does it mean that I came everyday by car with a guy that didn't have a valid driver license? Tom started to laugh and showed me his license with a picture of him, where he looked like an authentic criminal, like one of those wanted:dead or alive picture that marked dangerous criminals.   
  
  
"I'm just kidding. Of course it's not a fake one." I sighed in relief and raised my hand to take it, but Tom moved it away from my reach. "Do you really I'll just give it you because of your pretty face, doll?" I shrugged. I knew it.  
  
  
"What do you want me to do?" he hit the locker with his fist, strong enough to dented it and producing a loud noise that attracted the attention of everyone around us, even more than before if it's possible. A few girls from my class were drowning their hysterical screams into their hands, staring at us with no shame at all. Tom moved away from the locker, getting closer to me, with one hand resting on it, acting like a guy who's trying to flirt with a girl. I was quickly getting exasperate and upset at myself. Those eyes and that mischievous smile forced me to bit my lower lip, trying to contain myself to not jump on him like his dog.  
  
  
"Beg me as you know I like." my heart was racing. He wanted me to scream at him to do me hard, right there and right now, to fuck me in front of the crowd that was still staring  at us.  
  
  
"Fuck you!" Tom raised the driver license right in front of my eyes, waving it from side to side, and he bit his lip, impatiently waiting for a satisfying answer. It was clear by now that he was not going to give it to me unless I begged him and I started to seriously consider doing it. I was blushing, nervous and upset. I turned my head to look for a way out from that mess but I could only see people looking at me as if I was parading around naked. I fixed my eyes on two people passing by, and they looked at us with a surprised face. Georg smiled, muttering something like 'sticking out like a sore thumb as always' and Gustav frowned, with a suspicious expression on his face. I looked back at Tom, swallowing nervously. I had to admit that the way he was looking at me was turning me on really badly.   
  
  
When I looked over his shoulder my breath died in my throat and I'm sure I turned pale.  
  
  
"I knew it. If you're not the center of everyone's attention you're not happy, huh, Billy." I was paralysed at hearing her voice.  She had straight and shining hair, a bright blonde falling down on her shoulders, her bangs kept in place with a light green headband, that matched her eyes. Full lips and cheeks adorably blushed, she had always known how to pick her outfits right, but that day she was stunning in her dark jumper and the little light blue skirt. The jacket... It was the one I gave her last year for our anniversary.  
  
  
"Natalie..." I sighed, at the memory of how painfully in love I had been with that beautiful Austrian girl. She smiled gently. I smile I was used to see and the I remembered too clearly.  
  
  
Okay Bill, you're not exactly over her as you thought.  
  
  
I fixed my eyes on Tom again as soon as I noticed the slightest movement. His cheeky expression quickly disappeared. He looked at me in a furious way before turning to stare at Natalie with narrow eyes. They exchanged a quick glance and Tom made an unpleasant little sound with his mouth.  
  
  
"Hi." my ex-girlfriend smiled at him. The atmosphere became immediately tense while Tom remained silent. When he finally arched his lips into the shadow of a smile, he tried to put all his contempt.  
  
  
"Hi, Natalie." he spit out as if the name was hurting him, like he had known her all his life and something rough happened between them.  
  
  
"You must be Billy's brother, right? Glad to-"  
  
  
"How do you know I'm his brother?" He quickly cut her off with a playful and provocative tone, his voice carrying his usual arrogant attitude. I frowned.  
  
  
"Ah, you're not?"  
  
  
"There are many rumors around here... Which one do you think is true?" What the hell was he trying to do? I pinched his arm, barely containing my anger. Tom ignored me completely.  
  
  
"Oh, that" Natalie gave me a bright smile and I had to look away from her, fixing my eyes on the floor, paralysed and nervous. I saw  how Tom tilted his head to look at me out of the corner of his eyes for a few seconds. He obviously noticed my nervousness. "I think you're brothers, even if you don't really look alike that much. I suppose Bill talked to you about me, about us."  
  
  
"Yes, he mentioned something about what happened between you two." He sounded a little irritated now, but he was still surprisingly calm, and that was enough to make me feel relieved.  
  
  
"That's why... I know him. I can't imagine him with another guy, really. We've been together. Bill is not... like that."  
  
  
"Finally someone noticed it! I can't believe they all think that he's my boyfriend, dammit, you can see immediately that we're two opposite poles. Isn't that true?" I turned my head toward him, impatiently waiting for an answer, worried about his reaction. Tom turned his neck, apparently thinking about something I couldn't figure out. He looked at the bunch of people that was staring at us like two weird freaks, waiting for something extraordinary to happen that never arrived. He looked at Georg and Gustav, wrinkling his nose, and then he looked at me seriously.   
  
"Tom?" All of a sudden I discovered myself worrying about him, about the sudden change of attitude. I knew he didn't calm down that easily, once was pissed off, it could only get worse. Maybe he was trying to control himself, but I really didn't know what the hell was going through his mind.  
  
  
"How did you say that Bill is exactly?" he asked Natalie, who immediately opened his mouth to speak, but closed it to carefully think about an answer.  
  
  
"Well, when me and Bill were dating...Do you remember, Bill?" I nodded. Of course I did...how could I ever forget. "He was loving and kind, always caring about me. It's a real shame that things didn't go that well between us. I know for sure that the one who gets him, takes something precious." I blushed again. Natalie was always so sweet...  
  
  
"How interesting... So, you don't think he's..." he was making fun of me, of us, fooling her with those questions, or maybe me. I just wanted him to stop, I felt uncomfortable between them.  
  
  
Natalie smiled once more, her naturally nice attitude showing in her expression. Tom grinned from ear to ear too and I knew that smile, bad and mischievous, like a naughty kid that is up to some troubles or worse. Way worse.  
  
  
"Of course not. Bill is not like that."  
  
The smile on my brother's face widened.  
  
  
"No, of course not."  
  
  
And suddenly there I was, he grabbed my arms and pushed me roughly against the lockers, taking my breath away. My eyes clouded for a few seconds and my legs started to shake, I felt like I could just let my body slip to the ground. I leaned forward in my shock and Tom  forced me to stand up again, pressing  me against the lockers.   
  
  
"To-" Tom kissed me.   
  
He slipped his tongue between my lips and started to roughly imitate the rhythm of a real penetration in my mouth. I opened my eyes wide, shocked. They were watching us! Fuck, everybody was watching us! "No!" I pushed him away as hard as I could, but I only managed to separate us for a small second before he stacked my mouth again, pushing his tongue inside and taking control. I punched him on the shoulder and he took my wrists in his hand, holdong them before placing them over my against the lockers. I tried to move, but it was useless. I was furious. I wanted to bite his lips, I wanted him to leave me but I didn't... I didn't do anything! I could only feel how he almost raped my mouth with his tongue, hard and fast.  
  
  
Natalie jumped back, white like a ghost, with her hands covering her mouth and her eyes wide open. I saw Gustav turning pale and Georg remained perfectly still, with the same face of someone who sees a zombie. The others... I squeezed my eyes shut to not see them anymore.  
  
  
Tom rubbed his knee against my crotch, eager and with no shame as it was typical of him, and I... I was excited and humiliated like a whore.  
  
  
I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to see anyone's face or hear their screams. Tom kept me trapped between the locker and his body, he was the one who started it, he was the one who put me in such a situation, and I didn't have any other option but lean on him to not die of embarrassment. Tom was a monster, showing me off in front of everybody like a plastic doll...  
  
  
Shit... I am his doll...  
  
  
He kissed me in such a strong and dirty way that I knew I've never been kissed like that before in my whole life. He attacked my mouth with his tongue, biting mine when I tried to push him away from me again. He completely dominated the kiss,  barely allowing me to move my lips to kiss him back, and to make my tongue move against his. He wanted me just for himself and I lost the ability to think when his hard body crushed mine against the lockers and his knee rubbed my crotch to the point it was almost too much for me. For a moment I was afraid he'd fuck me in front of everybody. I knew he was capable of doing it. I knew I wasn't capable of that, but with him it was different... like a stupid masochist, I was fully hard already.  
  
  
I heard high-pitched screams, and when he finally released my lips, they were puffy and wet with his saliva, full of his taste, and his tongue parted from mine. He was still holding me by the wrists and he didn't moved even one centimeter away from my body. I avoided everyone's look, especially Natalie's. That's how you must feel when you get crucified in front of a whole nation. The embarrassment and the humiliation invaded me but Tom didn't seem satisfied with that.  
  
  
"Let me go, now," I whispered with a shaky voice, full of anger.  
  
  
"Beg me," he leaned on me like he wanted to kiss me again with a sarcastic smile. I turned my head and he trailed his lips over my ear. "Stop playing the victim, you have already shown me that you love this kind of things."  
  
  
"Why the fuck are you doing this?" we were whispering. My forehead rested against his shoulder, trying to hide from the look on everyone's face.   
  
"Do you see all the people that are staring at us? There's not even one soul that doesn't have his full attention on us, and everybody's thinking  'what a boyfriend Bill has', 'such an animal', 'what a monster'. That's why..." he caressed my ear with his wet lips, making me shiver. My heart was beating furiously again. "All the other dogs stop going after the female when they see a wolf marking his territory on her."  
  
  
"Are you calling me a bitch?" he laughed low in his throat.  
  
  
"No. I'm calling you my bitch. Do you understand? You are my bitch and..." he started to rub against me again, but this time he didn't use his knee. I opened my mouth to moan, but I could only let out a deep gasp. "I know you love to be mine like that. Admit it, here and now. I am the best fuck that you've ever had in your life! Beg me to ride you again bitch or I'll fuck you in front of your girlfriend!" fuck, fuck, fuck, no... "I have no patience, doll, I'm pissed off. I'm furious! Come on, say it! Who do you belong to, bitch?"  
  
  
"I..." I spoke as quietly as possible. Tom was whispering in my ear, his voice rough, hardly controlling his tone. I was blushing, no... I was humiliated. And horny.  
  
  
"You what?" my whole body was shaking, I felt little sparks of pleasure travelling up from my groin. I couldn't say it, I couldn't. No way....  
  
  
"I'm your bitch..." I was getting even harder and gasped again, shaking more violently than before.  
  
  
"Louder. I can't hear you. Make sure they all hear it, the whole world will know that you belong to me!"   
  
  
"No..."  
  
  
"Shout it!"  
  
  
"No!"  He remained quiet, silent. For a few seconds he continued to press against me, hearing my sighs and quiet moans, and then slowly, very slowly, he parted from me. He looked at me with his mouth half opened in a grin until he started to laugh at me, making fun of me as I knew he'd do. He turned toward Natalie, who was still standing there, pale and in shock.  
  
  
"Ohhh," he sighed dramatically, as if he really felt sorry about it. "I'm so sorry I've ruined your beautiful fairy tale. Apparently, turns out that sometimes the knight in a shiny armour is not as heroic as it seems," he laughed.  He laughed!!  
  
  
Gathering all my strength, I pulled his hands off of  me. He couldn't even grab me again before I slapped his cheek with a hit that echoed  all over the hall. I felt the burning stinging the palm of my hand, but Tom didn't seem to feel it at all. For a moment he stared at me before bursting out laughing. My anger was growing.  
  
  
"Be careful with touching my doll," he spit out, apparently relaxed, walking towards Natalie and giving her a slight push in the shoulder that almost made her fall to the ground.  He started to walk away from us.  
  
  
I couldn't believe it, I couldn't...  
  
  
"Tom, you son of a bitch!" I yelled at him, pissed off. I threw him the first thing I found handy, missing him. He was far away but Tom turned his head, smiling and leaving through the door, kicking it open. My body was shaking in anger and frustration and when I saw my reflection in the surface of the broken mirror hanging on the bathroom door, I saw my face was red, my whole body was tinted red.  
  
  
"And you, what the hell are you looking at!?" I screamed at the people from my class that were staring with their eyes wid,  looking at each other until they burst out laughing and clapped like geese, pissing me off even more if possible.  
  
  
My body was still shaking, humiliated and upset. I slowly slid down the lockers untill my butt hit the ground. I covered my face with both hands and started to sob like a mad man, avoiding the innocent gaze of my ex-girlfriend. I didn't want her to see me in such a situation.  
  
  
"Bill..." Georg moved closer to me, with his tell-me-right-now-what-the-fuck-just-happened-here face. "Can you explain me why did you let a guy that is identical to your own twin brother almost rape you? He looked a lot like Tom... Really."  He squinted  and I moved my hands away from my face slowly, giving him a shy glance. I was so embarrassed by the show I was forced to perform that I didn't even answer and hid my face from everyone, and again,  they were laughing and clapping! I couldn't believe it.  
  
  
"Hum!" I stifled several sobs and my tongue brushed my lips, feeling Tom’s flavour all over them. Oh... I tasted like sex.  
  
  
It was too much for me.  
  
  
Tom didn't casually moved away, no. He noticed it, he knew I had an embarrassing and humiliating problem that he was going to throw back in my face as soon as we were alone because, like he said... I came like a bitch when I thought he would fuck me right there. 


End file.
